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User Topic: Struggling
stungbytravel
♀ Member
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am really questioning my decision to ask for divorce. I keep questioning did I do enough, wait long enough, etc

I am struggling today. I want to call him and ask him if he wants the D and if says No then ask if what are we going to do.

Please slap some sense into me.


Not sure DD 10/6/2012
No doubt in my mind DD 04/2013
Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms 12/2012
Formal Separation 6/2013
Divorce Final 12/2013
Admitted Affair 4/2014

Posts: 251 | Registered: Oct 2012
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he wants to be in the M, he would be showing you.

If he does at some point and you still feel like accepting him, you can always stop the D or get remarried.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10988 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Say something about why you're questioning your decision. If I don't like your answer, maybe I'll send a 2 X 4.

I'm biased toward R, but if you want to D, you've got my support. If you're not sure you want to D, I don't see anything wrong with slowing things down. If you think you may want to R, I don't see any problem exploring the possibilities.

So why exactly do you think you need more sense than you already have?


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9765 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
stungbytravel
♀ Member
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I don't like your answer, maybe I'll send a 2 X 4.

This made me laugh out loud. So thank you.

He is still seeing the OW. He took MY car to see her (see other post) and I reacted out of emotion. I was mad. When I do that I second, third, fourth guess my self.

When I called and told him I didn't really want it. He didn't say what I wanted him to say, so again emotion. I made the appointment.


Not sure DD 10/6/2012
No doubt in my mind DD 04/2013
Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms 12/2012
Formal Separation 6/2013
Divorce Final 12/2013
Admitted Affair 4/2014

Posts: 251 | Registered: Oct 2012
truthsetmefree
♀ Member
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, sbt, sometimes we only have two shitty options.

It's may not be a matter of what you want. It may be a relatively easy decision when you honestly look at what your options are as things stand now.

Hugs because it's a really tough place to be.


Posts: 7682 | Registered: May 2005
Topic Posts: 5

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