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Newest Member: howcanyou (44619)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Are the men of online dating really that bad?
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or is it that the exceptionally bad ones generate the majority of the scuttlebutt here on SI?


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe it's just that misery loves company, so everyone shares the horror stories. I'm sure there are good people in OLD - heck look at the people here that are involved in it. But I never had the intestinal fortitude to venture into that realm.

You just have to be prepared for . . . . anything!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7669 | Registered: Aug 2005
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The good ones tend to disappear pretty quickly too. They get snatched up.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13658 | Registered: Jul 2011
aLadypilot
♀ Member
Member # 1822
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think we tend to hear more about the horror stories!

I had a very short lived time on Match. I met my fiance. And I went out with a few very nice men. One remains a friend, and the others while not a match, were just nice, interesting people.

I had a great experience with online dating.


Divorced 9/2010
Just married 7/4/13

Posts: 4081 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Twin Cities
MyVoice
♀ Member
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No they're not I went on about 15 first meet ups and only two of them were a little shall we say quirky the rest seemed completely normal nice men.

Five of these guys I went out on more than one date with and never had anyone be anything but happy,respectful and nice.

Even the quirky ones were nice

I'm currently with a gorgeous man from RSVP meet him four months ago and we've been exclusive for the last three


Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 469 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
InTheRabbitHole
♀ Member
Member # 19319
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was it my post that prompted this?

I've met a couple of normal guys, they just weren't for me. One guy and are actually good friends. Just no chemistry that way.

My best friend has met a great guy on OLD. I'm willing to keep at it.


Posts: 198 | Registered: Apr 2008
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have 3 words for you: Cheesey Nut Man...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19970 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
InTheRabbitHole
♀ Member
Member # 19319
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cheezy nut man is one of my favourite stories!

Posts: 198 | Registered: Apr 2008
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The good ones tend to disappear pretty quickly

Ouch! No worries, I'm pretty well over myself

This question wasn't precipitated by any one post. It's just that over all these years I've built up the sense from here that most OLD men are loonies or depraved.

Good to know that's not the case. And it diffuses Ama's comment


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, admit it OIAL, if any of us went on a date where the guy left his teeth in his chicken, we'd be telling that story.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13658 | Registered: Jul 2011
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, Cheesy Nut Man and Crunchy Chicken Man. Brothers in arms.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 6:14 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I met some really nice guys OLD.

Problem was, I wasn't nowhere near ready to date, so I was the one they probably had scary stories to tell their friends about.

I'm better now but still want to give it some time before I give it another try.


BS Divorced.

They were right about you.


Posts: 676 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm over the moon about the man I'm seeing & I met him via OLD. And fwiw I messaged him first.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3045 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once, I am with my fella going on three years now this July and I met him online. He is the bomb.

I think we enjoy some of the more outrageous stories, certainly. And I think in some ways OLD and its ease, anonymity and ability to, shall we say, um, be "greater" online than we really are contributes to some of the chaff that really needs to be blown away.

But overall? I have met some nice people. I think the more selective you are and the more true to yourself you are able to be, the more positive the experience.

Just my opinion.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29574 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or is it that the exceptionally bad ones generate the majority of the scuttlebutt here on SI?

When I find a good one, I tend to let a few less important balls drop (including SI) and give it time to see if the attraction is mutual.

And it's true, misery loves company.


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never got to meet any of the really bad guys from online dating. All of the guys I met were pretty normal, just not a good match for each other. Until the last guy. We are awesome for each other.

I do enjoy reading the crazy stories though.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4139 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first experiences with OLD were very good for the most part (Phase I - age 35). I was in a good place ego-wise. I had a lot of fun and met quite a few really great guys. At that time I was NOT interested in long term and that was what I sought.

A number of years later I had a different mindset (Phase 2 - age 40). I was looking for someone serious. That is when I ran into a less desirable experience. The men that said they wanted the same actually did not. They seemed enthralled by the OLD experience that there was always a better one out there to be had. Sadly, I kept seeing them year after year still looking and hoping for the Playboy Playmate they knew they deserved. Meanwhile, I just became disillusioned by men my age that only wanted Bambi the Wunderslut to service them and be their arm candy. So few men my age actually wanted to date women of their own age. They wanted 25-35 max. I'm not into the young guys seeking older women.

These days... I consider it Phase 3 of my single life... I just don't give a shit anymore. Occasionally I still peek at the possibilities on Match but never see anything interesting enough to shell out any $. I do get amused at the obvious "plants" my Match. It is funny to see that they are still practicing that in order to get people to pony up their hard earned cash.

But back to the beginning..... No, OLD guys aren't all that bad.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3077 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
hurtinky
♀ Member
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that the majority of the over 55 men have more than a few issues. I don't know how many first meetings I went on, in a year, but it was a lot. And I don't remember being impressed by any of them. The majority of them were hot messes. But they had nice profiles and talked a good line.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:25 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD met her H on match.com. They've been together for 6 yrs and married for 3.It's his 2nd and her 1st. She met a lot of men while she was doing the OLD.Some were freaky like we hear about on SI but most were OK just not a match for her.
I will give her credit, she wrote a great profile and was honest up front about who she is as a person and she knew what she could accept and what she couldn't.

There is really good people out there and like life you have to wade thru the idiots to see the good ones, they aren't always the ones you notice first.

Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20341 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll never be able to find out about the men on OLD being good or bad. My husband has been doing OLD for years & years. I can't risk bumping into him online.

I'm good with that, though. I'll just stick with old-fashioned methods.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9477 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
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