My WH has had 3 EA, the most recent DD being last week.
We have since decided to R, and for the first time ever, I finally feel like I have the whole truth. He confessed things to me that shocked me to my very core and I couldn't possibly believe he did those things. But I finally feel like we can heal from the past and go on to have a good marriage.
One thing has stood out to me. He confessed being molested as a child at the age 8-9 or so. By his aunt. He went on to do the same thing to his cousin as well. He has harbored this incredible guilt for the situation. He was around 9-10 when the situation occurred with his cousin and the way he told me the story, it was curiousity on both parts- not anything he forced on her. But yet he has felt this tremendous sense of guilt because of his actions, and truly feels like that's why he's had a few EA's. because he feels like he doesn't deserve a woman like me, who is faithful to him and loves him. So it was his way of trying to push me away instead of dealing from the demons of his past.
Obviously he is in IC and we are now in MC. Is it possible to overcome something like this? I obviously don't fault him for something that was done to him and he did to someone when he was a kid. But he is heartbroken and distraught over it. I just want my marriage to work, and for us not to have to go through anymore EA's. just wondering if it is possible for something like his guilt could be the cause of our marriage problems?
He is showing remorse for the first time ever- and he's taken full responsibility for everything. So I feel like we are in a step in the right direction.