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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why did in-laws never once contact me?
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, June 7th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature girl, it's amazing but I recently had enough with my XH and his family. I thought MIL didnt believe me about the A and all the issues.

Lesson learned: What do you KNOW vs What do you THINK?

I went on fb and messaged his sister last week. No response. So I fb his mother. Told her a bunch of the crap he's pulling out here. I felt it necesary because of the children AND told her he was having an affair was why we broke up. (I had tried to tell her all this last summer, but it overwhelmed her) and Xh told me to leave his family alone.

So, anyway she sent me back a fb message. She said she busted him on the affair some time back.(Not during it, but after I called her last summer). She said she did everything she could, but that he was a 50 year old man and she can't hold his hand any longer. She said she was sorry it all happened. Then she told me to move on.......

So, it was nothing like what I had thought (that she was in la la land).

Now, the other sister freaked out on me via fb. So I calmly told her ALOT of stuff. Porn, sex chat rooms, setting me up to be friends w OW, money she thought I borrowed and never paid back, I GAVE XH the money---did he never pay the mom back?,,,,etc etc.Then, the oldest sister fb me nicely and told me the mom is pretty old and weak. We ended up ok on the messaging. I told her I want her family fb my children in case something happens to me.

It really helped me find out what they were told, but now they really never want anything to do w me since I totally stressed out their mom....

I fell the pain about the $$$ stuff, too. I stayed home and he gets to make $$, have a gf, travel,etc.

I got the house (good).

I THINK you can go back to school or get on unemployment as a displaced hommemaker.

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2206 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 1:53 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, NG. I know how you feel - not exactly, because my in-laws were never horrible to me, but they aren't talking to me, I guess. They've known for several months now, and his mom accidentally emailed me a virus once, so I sent her a very friendly email to let her know and thank her for the Xmas gifts for the kids, but she didn't even reply. I posted about it back when it happened, because I was SO mad about it. I don't expect them to run go my side and support me, but geez, they could at least not act like effing assholes. I know if he contacted anyone in my family, they would respond, and they would do it cordially. Then again, who knows what the hell his family thinks is going on, so I should try to give the benefit of the doubt, but it is really damn hard.

Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine sit back and monitor his A even, but dont tell me...if I say something they open up, but they are content to keep his secrets if I could just hop on the wagon and play ostrich with all of them, everything would be great. If we didnt have kids, Id never hear from mine either.

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO they helped make him who he is. I'm not surprised at the way they are.

My X SILs still interact with me on FB. So far nothing has caused me any major triggers so I'm happy to keep the relationship as this.

I do miss them but I understand they are lost to me. XMIL is as broken as her son and I know she was very upset at him for doing what he did but at the end of the day they are going to believe most of all of the bullshit he tells them - even if they don't believe him they will try to support him.

I don't begrudge them that - blood is blood after all.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, it totally sucks.

When I was going through my D with XWH#1, my IL's were the only "family" I had within 800 miles. We were very, very close and my xMIL was almost saintly. Someone I admired.

They knew he was a cheater. They knew why we were getting a D. My xMIL said "I'm sorry, honey, but he's our son and we love him more." That was the end of it. xFIL just sat there and made a *humph* sound.

I'm so glad I didn't have children with XWH#1, because I don't think I could have ever stood to see their faces again.

Hang in there.

Just call me Heart. :)
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 25
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