SI has taught me a lot of things and has made me question what a healthy, sustainable marriage looks like. Thanks to reading a lot of posts in R and WS, I realized that teamwork is a huge part of it. In a marriage, you are a team.
For those of us who are married but isolated, or for those of us separated or divorced... I'm sorry and I wish all of us to find teamwork someday again. There's something to be said for becoming strong, independent, and healthy... and there is also something deeply valuable of being able to ask another person for support. Even if that person says no - the feeling that your teammate will not resent or mock you for asking. You feel safe to ask them. And in the same way, they feel safe to ask you.
Until we find it again, for those of us who have lost it, I hope we can hold onto how valuable and how POSSIBLE it is... as long as we find the people who are also willing to be team players. I hope we will have the opportunity to explore, make mistakes, learn, and practice teamwork and enjoy this challenge someday.Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.