Topic: age of the AP
Member # 6908
| Posted: 12:37 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
at the time of the affair:
Posts: 5632 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
Member # 28156
| Posted: 12:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
My H and I were both 50. OW was 29. She was at the company picnic moving on my H the day of my 50th birthday. She was aggressive coworker.Second OW (insane flirting only at wedding) was my daughters school chum. 25 yrs. For him, its all about the young, beautiful, body. HOPELESS
a trigger yesterday
Posts: 891 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Member # 34827
| Posted: 12:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Ow was 37 at the start of A...ws a few yrs older
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Posts: 4911 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 29244
| Posted: 12:44 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
FWW was 42
OM was 49
Me - BH (47)
Her - FWW (46)
Married 17 years
Together 19 years
DDay #1 - 12/8/09 (EA)
DDay #2 - 12/18/09 (PA)
A ended - 2/21/10
R'ed - 2/19/11
Posts: 542 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Metro DC
Member # 34974
| Posted: 12:48 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
WH was 42 at that time,
his OW 43.
me BW 46 WH 43
DS's 21 & 19 (my boys - from my previous marriage)
Posts: 186 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: UK
Member # 33227
| Posted: 1:23 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Agree that age isn't necessarily an important factor in this.
At the time I (BS) was 28, H was 29/30 and OW was 42.
Married 9 years, together 14.
1 child, aged 6.
The bad news is there is no key to happiness. The good news is it isn't locked.
Posts: 1871 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: United Kingdom
Member # 23375
| Posted: 1:57 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
I am 5 years younger than WS, OW is the same age as WS.
I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair
Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
Posts: 5325 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Member # 36130
| Posted: 2:33 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
My H & wannabe OW were both early 60s during the OEA. I'm 10 yr younger than either and could probably pass for her daughter.
BUT - since they hadn't seen each other in decades, my H says during their communications he was envisioning both himself and her as their younger selves.
excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."
Posts: 980 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 36869
| Posted: 3:28 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
I totally agree that age has nothing to do with the affair. At the start of his EA, late H was 67; his AP was 68 - and me? I was 53. It really did a number on my self-esteem to be thrown over for someone 15 years older than me.
Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.
Posts: 370 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Member # 35215
| Posted: 5:08 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended
Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Member # 32848
| Posted: 6:27 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Both,me and my H were 31 at the time and OW was 46 at the time.This really hit hard on my selfesteem,to be thrown away for somebody so much older then me.
Posts: 185 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 38141
| Posted: 8:40 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Beginning of affair (near as I can tell from truth and lies given)
ME - 44
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.
Posts: 452 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 38378
| Posted: 8:52 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
I don't think it's age either. OW here is the same age as me-she was an easy target and fell for STBX like a stupid fool. He was fascinated by the likenesses that he thinks we share. Ewww.
I think it's as some of the posts say, with a person's problems they aren't working on or aware they have...with lack of boundaries, in this case...lack of standards...lack of empathy. Not thinking, acting on impulses and so on. I think these aren't age related, but qualities that people have or don't.
Also, could it be sometimes about what a person is willing to throw away or an enticement from sneaking?
It was very hard for me to realize that OW probably wasn't even thinking that STBX could have a family-she just believed his every word, as I used to.
I used to work hard at trying to find a definite reason, too, and I don't think there is just one.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
Posts: 2197 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 36579
| Posted: 10:33 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
He's 50 - his first OW was in her early 30's.
His 2nd and 3rd OW's were old school friends so around the same age.
I'm 45. But as others have said, OW could have been any age as long as she paid him some attention and believed his bullsh*t.
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14
Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 19772
| Posted: 11:11 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Adding to stats: when it started, OW was about to turn 40. XH was about to be 41 and I was 36.
Posts: 14336 | Registered: Jun 2008
Member # 38681
| Posted: 11:48 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
ExW : 32
Me : 33
DS: 3 year old.
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.
Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 38712
| Posted: 3:33 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013|
WW was 32
I was 33
OW was 44
Yep I was the "young hottie" and OW was a frumpy older horsey woman. I used to refer to her as "Camilla".
together 10 years
EA/PA with co-worker while I was pregnant
Trying to reconcile
"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." Nora Ephron
Posts: 66 | Registered: Mar 2013
|Topic Posts: 77|