Will do. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. I'm going to back out of this thread since I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and overexposed. Again, many thanks.
I'm sorry that some thought this was some kind of hoax. I've been a member here for a long time and don't really create drama. All of the responses have made me realize that I'm in a serious situation, and I'm grateful for your input.
I'm seeking care, both medical and therapeutic.