Does he know it triggers you? Talking to him about it may help. Some triggers take time to work through. One day I had my haircut at a new salon. I didn't have an appt, so I didn't know the woman had the same name as OW (until she handed me her card at the end). Instant anxiety attack. I made a decision that I wasn't going to let OW or this trigger take away the best haircut I ever had. It took time for me mentally to signify the name to the person who cuts my hair instead of OW. One day you will get there. Sending you strength.
Were together 7+yrs, Ended R.
Can I ask you.
When you say you had an instant anxiety attack, how long did it last and how severe was it? How long after D-day did this happen?
I sometimes have small anxiety attacks that I work through somehow, but a lot of them like this recent bbq one, send me into a major state of depression. I cannot eat, sleep, think straight or anything else until it subsides. In this case I still feel awful the next day and have a hard time focusing on the fact I have to go to work.
Will it get better with time?
I keep hearing time will help.
But I don't know if I can take this for much longer.
We are 7 months from D-day and at times it feels like yesterday.
I think it's important to know our limits during the healing process and not expect ourselves to handle everything perfectly. We aren't exactly the same person after this. Some things that would be normal in the past now affect us differently. Like you, some anxiety attacks I could handle. Deep, slow breathing and telling myself it would be ok. I needed to mentally say to myself, "Ok. Driving past this restaurant triggers me and that's ok. I CAN drive past it and no new bad stuff will happen." I'd drive past and after a while, it would be "Oh, yeah. That place. No biggie. I can handle this." Over time, certain places and things didn't trigger the anxiety attacks anymore.
It takes time to heal. Embrace all the small victories (calming yourself through a smaller anxiety attack) and know that in time the bigger ones will follow.
[This message edited by jo2love at 8:33 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)]
My FAVOURITE dish is CHICKEN PARMESAN! lol
Sorry you have to go through that everytime you want to prepare it. Just imagine that when he made it for ow, it sucked!
He has not had one in my presence since. In fact, sometimes he goes out of his way to ask if another beverage is okay, which while I appreciate him trying to be accommodating, only reminds me of the trauma of finding the photo. Two years out I still don't want to think about it, but at least I don't have a huge reaction when I see an Orange Crush in the store. I think it just takes time.