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User Topic: The touchy-feely waitress
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We were talking a bit tonight and I remembered the T-F waitress from years ago! She would consistently touch my H's shoulder or arm when she came to our table while at our local Pub. I commented on this at the time and he said, "oh, she is like that with everyone."

Now that I think about it tho.....he was full into the A when this happened and so I guess being casually touched by her was not a big deal for him. It was attention.

Being touched by a stranger would bug me.

Just a comment.

[This message edited by LA44 at 7:13 PM, June 10th (Monday)]


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
madseason
Member
Member # 13224
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Touchy-feely waitresses bug the shit out of me. I was a waitress once upon a time and it would *never* have occurred to me to feel up my customers.

I remember my WH and I having dinner one time (pre-A) at Outback and the waitress was really laying it on thick with WH and WH was eating it up. Until I stared her down and said "I'M the one who leaves the tip" while doing the whole one eyebrow raised thing. She got the message.


Lose my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
And taking the stride
From all our lives

*Somewhere, far away from here, I saw stars. Stars that I could reach.*


Posts: 10284 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Southeast of Disorder
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I waitressed too madseason for many years and I NEVER touched a customer like this. I like your comment! I will use that next time. At one point, I looked at HER hand touching HIS shoulder. She got the look.

I guess remembering her was another reminder as to how far over the line he had crossed even though I didn't know it at the time. He made excuses for her bc he was doing WAY MORE then that with someone else!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I waitressed for a long time (my dad owned restaurants). When my girls got old enough to be interested in serving, I told them the one thing I learned over the years was to always cater to the woman first when a couple came in together and to be friendly with both but not too flirty with the man because the woman usually decides on the tip.

I'm still shocked when we get a waitress who hasn't figured that out...


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4033 | Registered: Sep 2005
stillhere09
♀ Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"I'M the one who leaves the tip"

I love that!

I have waitressed in the past too, and never once did I feel up my customers, either.

One flirted with my H once while serving us. I laughed outright at her. She stopped.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
BeyondBreaking
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't like it either. When someone hits on me, I don't like it, and even feel a little offended. Like they can see my ring, and big fat don't care- it is disrespectful of my relationship.

If my fiancÚ and I were at dinner and someone was being overly flirty and touching him, I would expect him to say something. If he didn't, I would, and he would certainly hear about it at home.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG! On our first Valentine's Day (what a mess that day was), we went to a chain restaurant along with everyone else in the city. It took over an hour for us to be seated, and he ran late that day anyway so I was a bit......irritated to say the least.

Well we get to our table, and our waitress comes over, gives me this once over and DISMISSES ME! She was leaning into my fiance, and giggling, and touching his arm, asking him what she could do for him. I said "well for starters you could take OUR drink order" She looked at me, looked back at him and started rattling off the beer list. I said "We will have a two waters, thanks". So, she leaves, and I said "I don't like the way she's flirting with you, and treating me like I'm not even here". He was oblivious. He can never tell when a woman flirts or comes on to him.

So, we put in our dinner order....she was still barely acknowledging me, and my anger was rising. Our dinners came, and she squats down really close to my fiance and says "We offer fresh baked cookies for dessert, but the orders have to go in when dinner comes out. I'd really like to bake cookies for you, on the house." He says "Sure!" because he doesn't turn down free food. I was seething. I told him "you will not take a bite of those cookies." So, eventually the check comes, and she hands him a restaurant card and says "This is my personal phone number, you should call me." And that, friends, is where I Lost.My.Shit.
I stood up and yelled "I WANT A MANAGER RIGHT NOW!" Two managers come running over and I gave them the rundown on slutty waitress and how she was "taking care" of MY boyfriend all night culminating in trying to give him her phone number. I said "This is VALENTINE'S DAY, you can't tell that we're TOGETHER as a COUPLE??" and she said "Oh, I just assumed you were his sister, I mean he's so hot and you're..." I said "I'm what? Fat? Ugly? Not worthy of dating such a "hot" guy?" I said "you're lucky you're still standing you fucking slut." Then I told the managers that not only was I NOT paying for this meal, but we'd never, EVER eat there again. The managers were very apologetic, and said of course we wouldn't pay the bill. And then they fired the waitress, right in front of us. Made her hand in her apron and computer card, and walked her out.

The hostess was trying to apologize to me, and told me that was not the first time she blatantly hit on a man in front of his wife/girlfriend/date. The hostess said that slutty waitress told her "ALL men are available, you just have to try."

My fiance was floored because he thought I was imagining things all night until she passed him her phone number. He said that he thought I was going to flip the table over. I almost snatched that skank bald, let me tell you!

Also, we've been together for 9 yrs and we've never been back to that chain.


Posts: 3355 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
hardtimesinlife
♀ Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome, itainteasy.
Potential ow's are everywhere.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6088 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

itainteasy - DAMN. That girl was out of control.

I waitressed for a long time and I worked with some girls who needed ALL the male attention (not from customers - from the other employees). I used to say they needed all the penises pointed in their direction to feel good about themselves. It's pitiful.

I waitressed for a long time (my dad owned restaurants). When my girls got old enough to be interested in serving, I told them the one thing I learned over the years was to always cater to the woman first when a couple came in together and to be friendly with both but not too flirty with the man because the woman usually decides on the tip.

Yep. My H usually pays with his card and then hands me the slip to tip & sign.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She really was. Now that I look back on it, I feel sorry for her.

But at the time I saw red an I wanted her head on a platter.

I have never experienced another waitress like her, thank goodness.

In fact, like TearsofLove, most waitress talk to me first, are nice to me first and nice to him second. Most of them seem to know that I decide their tip!


Posts: 3355 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

penises pointed in their direction

So can we use the term "Penis Compass" to describe them?


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4033 | Registered: Sep 2005
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damnnnn! You are a patient person...


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few years back, when we were just a couple years into R, we were in Mexico on vacation with our kids. We went to this great restaurant but had that similar experience, the waitress who only talks with the man, too much eye contact, too often with the beer refills, etc. My kids were RIGHT THERE! He was, of course, oblivious.

The capper came at the end of the meal, when I asked to buy a tshirt. They were kept on shelves above the bar, which we were seated next to. Waitresswhore literally jumps up on the bar, and bends wwwwaaaaayyyyyy ooovverrrr to stretch to reach his size, wiggling her ass about 3 inches from his head. I leaned back, crossed my arms, and raised an eyebrow at him. When we left he was all, "holy shit, what was that!?"

And you guys are right. Bitchy got no tip (of either variety, ha!).

Yesterday he pulled that tshirt out of the closet to wear and goes, "oh, I'm totally wearing this one because I konw how much you love it!" and I wiggled my ass and rubbed it all over him. Now, we can laugh about it because he acknolwedges that shit happens and is no longer oblivious. Ever.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6359 | Registered: Jan 2011
Topic Posts: 13

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