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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How do you R, worried it will happen again?
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this what true R is? Trusting but verifying? My friend told me her cousin caught her husband cheating. They went to MC and a year later he did it again bc he didn't "fix" himself. We were both told this during a dinner at our friends house. H didn't say a word regarding the situation. I brought it up. Still, not a word from him...leaves me wondering...

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 9:39 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)]


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
seamonkeydo
♀ New Member
Member # 39493
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can trust him when your ready. If he is not showing you he can be trusted then there is no reason to trust him. He needs to be there and reassure you enough so that you feel comfortable enough to take that next step. I believe after an A trust is earned, not given


let your past make you better not bitter.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Jun 2013
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, he is showing my by his awesome actions.

I'm just not sure if I WANT him after he burned me so bad, y'know...


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
cds22
♀ Member
Member # 39083
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I am new to this but I find it very helpful to my own boundaries about what I will do if I happens again. I am also working on a legal and financial plan with my long-time accountant and consulting an attorney about post-nuptials and other protections for me and the kids should it happen again.

On the whole, I have come to accept (painfully) that I won't ever have that kind of trust again. My marriage is going to have to be very present-oriented and enjoying it in the moment. Sometimes I think it is like being married to someone with a very serious illness who could die or become gravely disabled at any time.


Posts: 236 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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