Ok, I'm going to play the devil's advocate here.
You just registered, no profile. When was your dday? I understand your pain. On my first Dday, FWH let me leave for a weekend.
Now, he's fighting tooth and nail for "us." I can't express enough how much of this is a process and not a bottom line answer. I'm the most impatient person and wanted all this to end.
IMO, there is way too much going on the catagorize everything, let alone process it right now. You two are both raw to the bone.
Sounds like you're gonna party...try not to drink too much and have a RA (revenge affair). You will hurt yourself even more. I've been warned many times by others here.
You're upset and pissed off. Even sad and hurt. It's too early to decide anything...
Look at me, I'm 7 months out, one day I love him, the next I'm plotting to leave- sometimes in the same day hours apart..
I tend to be an extremest, one minute I'm holding telling him I will do anything to be with him, the next I'm thinking, I"m so out of here! For me, it's the uncertain nature of "processing" all of this.
Just yesterday at MC, I told H that I would give it a year to heal, but I'm not sure of true R, yet.
Also, I don't think your W knows how to process everything or even what she wants at this point.
I was 0-3, when this first started. Now, we're both winning.