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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What do you think
tryin2havefaith
♀ Member
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Three months ago I asked him for a timeline. Got nothing from him. I haven't pressed him about it either. Yesterday we started with a new MC. This new one does Imago therapy. She came highly recommended. I did bring up the timeline while we were in session. That I have a hole that feels like I've missed something, and that it is holding me back still. In all other ways he is showing me that he is remorseful and doing things for my healing ... except this. We are intimate, but there is something just still lacking..KWIM?

He had his IC today. Came home and hugged me and told me he is so sorry that he put this on a back burner. That he is going to work on it an hour a week while in session with his IC.

I've been highly triggered this last week with my surgery coming up in a bit. So my thinking is clouded.

Thoughts???

ETA: to correct a typo

[This message edited by tryin2havefaith at 9:57 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)]


ME- BS
HIM- WS
DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. " -Dalai Lama

Posts: 256 | Registered: Oct 2012
Hearthache again
♀ Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He needs to give you the timeline. Do you know why he is not doing this? Forgetful, fearful, hiding something...etc.

Keep on him this time. You feel like you are missing something because he is withholding information from you that could be important. You can not begin to trust again unless you feel like you have all the answers you need.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
tryin2havefaith
♀ Member
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 3:59 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he is truly disgusted with what he did. Having difficulty facing himself and what he did. Guilt/shame seem to consume him. That may be why he is now going to work on it in his sessions. I think he's afraid to look at it all all by himself. It may be just too much for him.

I think he will follow through this time


ME- BS
HIM- WS
DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. " -Dalai Lama

Posts: 256 | Registered: Oct 2012
tryin2havefaith
♀ Member
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


ME- BS
HIM- WS
DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. " -Dalai Lama

Posts: 256 | Registered: Oct 2012
tryin2havefaith
♀ Member
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm trying to keep from over-focusing on why he feels that he needs the IC to do this. To write this while in session. Maybe it's just me freaking a bit from some strong triggers around me right now. Not sure.

He did say he was sorry for putting it off, has seen with our new MC how much his not doing so for months has hurt me and made me feel unsafe and confused. I guess I still am in the 'waiting for other shoe to drop' syndrome again. And it may be for nothing at all...for nothing more than I already know. I keep some distance to protect myself still...maybe that's what I'm still feeling. I don't know, just rambling from the meds I'm on for pain . Not even sure this all makes sense.

ETA fixed typos

[This message edited by tryin2havefaith at 5:08 PM, June 14th (Friday)]


ME- BS
HIM- WS
DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. " -Dalai Lama

Posts: 256 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 5

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