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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I had a random conversation tonight!
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Question  Posted: 10:33 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Took Teslet to the beach this evening and he started playing with another kid. Eventually the kid's little brother toddled over and sat by me and the mom followed. We had a really nice conversation...not something that I would have done before because I probably wouldn't have even been out at the beach back when I was with ex-shat.

Anyway, I have a question...I feel a little silly even asking it. Sometimes I feel so clueless. The kids really hit it off and we were talking for quite a while. She owns a restaraunt and as she left she said to email the restaraunt and let her know the next time I'm up at the beach and maybe she can bring her kiddos again.

This is normal right? This is what people do and how they interact, right? I should do this, right? Why do I have no idea how normal people interact? How sad is it that this was an incredibly novel experience for me?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4684 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it's nice and normal. Email her and arrange a play date for the kids with coffee for you and her.

I'm glad you had a pleasant encounter. You deserve it!


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Sep 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, honey - it's what normal people do. Or so I've heard.

And boy do I get that question. You have no idea how far off normal your life has gotten until you step off the crazy train.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25742 | Registered: Aug 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh honey. Yes it's normal. I was surprised when it started happening too. The mummy books don't tell you thr you've joined a secret and elite club. Most don't realise until this child reaches social age.

I met a mum at the park once and our chat turned into laughing about how you know you're a mum when adults tell you they have a stomach ache and you ask them if they need to poo (or at least WANT to ask them).

Do you belong to any playgroups/mothers groups? Here they set us up with one within the first few weeks after our babies are born. I've also made friends with lots of daycare and school mums. We catch up with kids and also nights out.

They have been a great support to me throughout the years.

I love the sisterhood!!


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep! Normal and great. I've made many of my best friends through activities I was doing with my children. You have a lot in common because your children are at the same stage.

Some friends stayed around while others were just for a time. My children are now in college and I'm still friends with people I met because of the kids 17 years ago.


Divorced and beginning my new life.


2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 2:50 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes very normal !
I met my best friend (RIP Nancee) when her DS and DD went to preschool together. 35 yrs ago. We were long distant at times but we so close.

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 2:51 AM, June 12th (Wednesday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't blame you for questioning if this is normal.

I am so wary of what other people do I wonder about their motives they must be evil right? Even if is something nice I question their motives. Left over battle scars I guess from the xwh.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1360 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it sounds like she was trying to make a friend


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is normal and you should be happy about it.

Making friends through your kids happens all the time.

Tesla, you are just wonderful to say the least!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like you may have made a new friend

Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not only is this normal, but as Teslet gets older you're going to find it's a life-saver. Parenting books which assure you the kid's various emotional tantrums, etc., are "normal" are cold comfort. What parents need is what you're experiencing: someone to sit their butt down next to yours, hand you a margarita, and rant with you about What In The Hell Has Happened To My Wonderful Little Child.

Go get some free business cards from Vistaprint.com (they have Vistaprint's logo o the back but big whoop!) and design them as playdate cards. Have them printed with your name and Teslet's, and put your phone and email address on them. I did this years ago when Birdie Sue was a toddler and I've re-ordered every time we had a baby. You'll be so thankful you've got those. Trust me.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have no idea how far off normal your life has gotten until you step off the crazy train.

Word ^^^

I think that's wonderful.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17498 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When my kids were little bitties i intentionlly went to parks, pools, story hours to meet other moms with kids the same ages,

Made lots of new friends that way, for the kids and me.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2708 | Registered: Jan 2010
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go get some free business cards from Vistaprint.com (they have Vistaprint's logo o the back but big whoop!) and design them as playdate cards. Have them printed with your name and Teslet's, and put your phone and email address on them. I did this years ago when Birdie Sue was a toddler and I've re-ordered every time we had a baby. You'll be so thankful you've got those. Trust me.

This is golden. I ordered what I call "mom cards" as soon as I kicked STBX out of the house last year. Like you, Tesla, I had/have no idea what is normal for how adults socialize, especially parents/other moms. I still don't, but I'm working on it. I hand people my card all the time now. At first I just had a stack in my hand as I went door-to-door in my own neighborhood, introducing/reintroducing myself to people I'd lived next to for over a decade but hadn't really seen thanks to the isolation from being married to a raging NPD SA. I pass them out at church, at school functions, kid activities, anytime else that I'm talking to a mom and it seems like she's fairly friendly and decent. People are overwhelmingly in favor of these little mom cards, they make an impression.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9824 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 14

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