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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: ow creeping on my wh
SorrowBhindSmile
♀ Member
Member # 38139
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

after feeling relatively positive about the progress WH and i have been making, i feel like i am talking a nose dive into the obsessive thoughts about ow.

super long story short....a neighbor has caught the OW watching my WH on several occasions. (OW lives right down the street from us) The neighbor brought it to my attention....so i started watching...and i too have caught OW hovering about and watching my WH.

There has been total NC...she hasn't tried to contact him...but i am still deeply bothered. I feel like i am digressing backwards. Mind movies are running rampant again. i think about the A a lot more now. i feel like i was making such personal progress...and now i feel like its 12 steps back.

I have talked to my WH about it. He has been very supportive. He never looks her way. he never drives by her house. if he sees her outside he stops what he's doing, comes in and tells me immediately. I watch him when he doesn't know i am watching...to make sure he is abiding by our boundary agreement....he has given me no cause to worry about his actions.

I'm just having this huge range of emotions. I'm pissed that she is doing it. Its lame, really....i mean, how pathetic is she, peeping thru the bushes to catch a glimpse??? I am mad at myself for letting it bother me. But more so, i am worried about the affect it is having on me and my mindset to work towards R. I know i need to focus on ME and WH...leave her out of the equation....but jeez.

ugh. just ugh.
rant over. thanks for listening.


Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2013
NoraLee
♀ Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This would bother me to no end as well. My ow was creeping on my H at work...standing above his bar on the 2nd level of the casino starig down at him for like 15 minutes at a time...not even being subtle about it.

My ow is changing positions soon (major career move - from waitress to dishwasher - dream big whore - lol!) having her live down the street would send me around the bend...can you move? Is she married? If so - tell her bs...especially about the extra creeping.

The obsessing is normal this soon out from Dday. Especially with the increased activity on her part. It took 9 months for my homicidal mind movies to end. I'm glad your FWH is being forthcoming - that will help a lot...


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Red  Posted: 10:03 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Noralee -

Please remember to follow the guidelines when posting.

Recon - There is to be no venting about or name calling the OP in this forum


Posts: 33932 | Registered: Mar 2011
sunshine226
♀ Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

give her an eyeful the next time you see her creeping, I am assuming this is taking place outside so you are limited to what you can do in public, but why not go up to him while he is outside and kiss him like never before and then walk hand in hand into your house and then let her imagination guess the rest

Just a thought


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a loser. My main concern about this, as well as the upset it's causing you, and that it is actually being quite 'stalkerish' is that she's being obvious enough about it to have drawn attention from people who presumably don't already know about the A. She's making a spectacle of herself for everyone to see and also potentially creating a talking point for people on your street - which your children could eventually get to hear about. Peeking through hedges? What an absolute idiot she is.


It makes me feel very, very sad for her poor husband too, because it's showing exactly where her head is still at. In complete contrast - I'm glad that your husband is supporting you with what is obviously going to be a very big trigger, what with it being right on your doorstep so to speak.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1839 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She must be very obvious if other neighbors are noticing. Is she on your property when she does this?


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7147 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 6

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