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Newest Member: helpmegetthrough (44949)

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User Topic: unrelenting selfishness (vent)
wifeno2
♀ Member
Member # 31529
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't even get a card for Mother's Day. I don't even remember if I got anything for my birthday.

At XMAS he really wanted a gun. A $1300 gun. (He has 11 others...) He "needed" it to carry around the house for protection. I told him after we bought the kids gifts we would start looking at it for him. He agreed, then like Toad and the motorcar he went into a gun shop and called to ask if he could go ahead and get it. I told him that wasn't the agreement. He told me I was acting like his parent and got all angry but agreed to wait. Later that weekend I caught him looking up his first love on the internet and repeatedly visiting a co workers (female, young attractive) facebook page. When confronted he said she was a lesbian. Which is a lie.

Sooo. He gets a new job that comes with a new gun. He says he no longer wants the other gun. I forget it. Then for the last month he has been walking around pouting. I asked what is wrong. Its the gun. He said he realizes we can't afford it and so he feels he should tell me not to get it for him for Father's Day. Well duh. I hadn't even considered it.

So then we have another conversation and he reminds me that he could still have OW. (Well how would he know that if he hasn't been talking to her about things other than work?) Related to wanting the gun? Maybe, of course he says NO. Not related and I "misunderstood" him. Again.

This gun is another in a long line of things that he "needs" until he gets them. Motorcycles, guns, knives, four wheelers. He has at least started selling some after he is done with them. But he tends to show them off and then someone else gets something cooler and he has to top that.

I am getting him the gun. I am tired of watching him pout I guess. Or want to try to be a good wife, or maybe I'm still trying to prove to myself that I'm a good wife or trying to give him reasons to justify his behavior.

I have considered wrapping it in D papers but that wouldn't serve me or DS well right now. I have considered telling him he can't tell or show it to anyone. I have considered telling him I will be sleeping downstairs from now on.

To top it off, he couldn't wait for his phone upgrade. It is later this month. Has to have the newest phone now. $500. As he is haggling on the phone he throws away the letter to him that informs him his credit card payment is overdue. I had it sitting on the computer so I could remember to pay it. He saw it, knew what it was and threw it away without asking me if I needed it. I did if I wanted to pay it. He is completely unconcerned about it. I am not going to be either.


Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

Posts: 696 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: the south
CatchyUsername
♀ Member
Member # 39415
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am facing this right now with a car that WH ordered...

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2013
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why in the world would you reward bad behavior? He is acting like a selfish brat who threatens to take his marbles & go home if you don't play the game according to his rules. Add to that the veiled threat that there is another woman waiting in the wings if he doesn't get his way!

The absolute nerve some people have!


BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 736 | Registered: Apr 2013
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What? I don't get this... if you all are behind on your finances and cannot afford a credit card payment why in the world are you encouraging his behavior and buying him the gun? He sounds like a child... and unfortunately you have taken the role of his enabling mother.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 8:49 PM, June 12th (Wednesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he reminds me that he could still have OW.

He says this to you....and so you're going to buy him that stupid gun so that he stops pouting??? Are you serious?

And not paying the bills isn't something to joke about. It hurts your credit rating too.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8005 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He didn't give you anything for Mother's Day and possibly your birthday? And you're still entertaining the thought of giving him something? And not just something, but a $1300 gun??

No, just, no.

Put that $1300 towards your bills instead.

He doesn't deserve a flaming bag of dog shit for father's day.


Posts: 3383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
HereWeGo62
♂ Member
Member # 34766
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would not buy him any firearms right now, they are not in the budget. He can use one of his other 11 guns for protection, or sell some guns to buy another. His behavior does not justify the reward.


If there is reincarnation I hope OM comes back as a low water flush truck stop toilet!

Posts: 306 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Tx
Topic Posts: 7

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