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User Topic: OW still wants him
Hunter23
♀ Member
Member # 37574
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chefj9,

Your OW sounds certifiable. But this made me LOL:

I don't worry about him as much as I worry about her showing up at my door wearing adult diapers and a hand gun.

Although, in all truthfulness it's not really funny, it's scary. It's very encouraging that your FWH is physically ill at the thought of her now.
Sounds like my WH, who's pretty mortified that he carried on with OW at all. She's not smart enough to be a bunny boiler.

Actually, she's not smart enough to have enough money to get herself lunch. I'm not kidding. Her sister had to bring money to her at her hotel while on vacation so she and her husband could eat. Yeah, they didn't factor that in to the whole vacation expense thing... and she has 2 kids... I weep for the future.


Me: BW, 38
Him:WH, 40
DDay: Nov 3, 2012
Hoping to recover...

Posts: 99 | Registered: Nov 2012
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her sister had to bring money to her at her hotel while on vacation so she and her husband could eat. Yeah, they didn't factor that in to the whole vacation expense thing...

This OW isn't stupid so much as she is delusional. But that is just nuts about the $$.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
cosmicjoke
♀ Member
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Chef~
WOW.. she sounds like a real "treasure"...!! LOL!! I hope your DH realizes he dodged a MAJOR bullet...?? (helloooo!!)
This pining for someone else's husband business is the strongest drug for these creeps. I sure feel your pain.. been where you are and it sucks. The feeling of some parasite always hovering around undermining you.. Uggh, It's the worst feeling to know that some scum is creeping around in the dark corners of your life trying to get in through the cracks.. and hoping to pull the rug out from under you. And basically steal your life.. that's all they really want to do. Their evil egos feed on f***ing over other women. It's disgusting. And when they don't get what they want.. these (****)s are like big babies who got their lollipop taken away from them. WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

btw.. CONGRATS to your DH on the one-month chip!! Is he really committed to this? Does he make the connection between his shitty behavior and addiction..?? (Not that it excuses it-- but you know- it's connected and all that..)
It sounds like there is reason for hope. Must be a huge relief for you. Now wait and watch how he treats you.. hopefully, this will be a real opportunity for growth and he will really come to appreciate YOU & the second chance you're giving him. That is NO small thing. And hopefully he will show you every day that he's a changed man and will continue to reinforce your feeling of security. And once this happens, the pull of the 'other thing' should start to feel less threatening.. regardless of what SHE does (which is just wither away, hopefully).
Is he going to send her a clear NC- or has he already? Perhaps you both can do it together. I know the popular opinion here is for the cheater to be responsible for the NC message-- but I for one am a fan of doing it TOGETHER as a united front. This way it makes you seem less 'invisible' and makes you more real to them. They may not give a shit or see it as a challenge.. but at least you'll make it clear how you feel and that you're not going to tolerate someone creeping around your life trying to break up your relationship. (Tell her to go find her OWN MAN for god's sake.) I think it's more powerful (and makes them feel cornered) when it comes from BOTH of you. Or at least- when he sends it, cc you also.

If you haven't done this yet- I would say try to do it soon- so you can NIP THIS SHIT IN THE BUD NOW. Don't let it drag on and on.. she will just keep popping up. It's essential for the recovery of your rela and YOUR peace of mind.
Draw the line and make it 100% clear to her.. coming from BOTH of you...!


Posts: 159 | Registered: May 2013
openedupmyeyes
♀ Member
Member # 27871
Angry  Posted: 9:35 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've got one of those too. So far nothing for the last 2 months.


Me:53 BS
Him:53 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:35
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.

Posts: 762 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: The Great State of Texas
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is he really committed to this?

I have never seen him committed to anything the way he is committed to his recovery. He still makes mistakes, mostly in communication, but he's trying and learning.

There have been numerous NC letters sent. But when you're dealing with someone that's delusional, they really don't matter other than evidence that we tried to be civil.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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