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User Topic: Apparently, I never "Own my shit"...
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is having another one of his bullshit meltdowns last night.

Tells me I need to read a book about fighting fair.

Tells me I never own my shit.

Telling me what he learned in therapy.

I told him all he ever learned in therapy was how to run his games better and that he could take that psychobabble rap and stick it where the sun don't shine.

Starts ranting about how mean I am to him(modified 180 for my sanity)because I won't sleep with him anymore, I don't cook his breakfast every morning, I don't hug him or say I love you, blah, blah, blah.

I told him if I blew up and yelled at him every few weeks he wouldn't want anything to do with me either.

I mocked him.

"Poor me. She's so mean to me!"

Talks about how hurt he is.

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

Told me I started the last one over something that had nothing to do with him.

This isn't true.

I asked him a simple question and he used the opportunity to lose his shit.

Now he doesn't remember that and it's all my fault. Everything is always my fault.

Once again, me and the kids are just sitting here in his house disrespecting him and sucking up his paycheck.

A lot of times he'll start this bullshit with,"Can I just talk to you calmly for a minute or two?"

This time I said, "Probably not, so no."

Left the house for a while.

Heart is fixing to explode, I can feel my blood pressure rising dangerously.

I am sick and anxious all the time because I'm always bracing myself for the next onslaught.

But I'm just so mean to him.

If I really gave him anything worth bitching about, I probably wouldn't live to see my children grow up.

I am so sick of his bullshit and mind games.

Poor baby.

I don't respect him.

He brought it on himself.


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FTG.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7741 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, the lovely "poor me"s of a WS. Endearing, eh?

I wish we had a clapping emoticon because I'd score them across the page for you. You did great. I know it's frustrating, but your responses were authentic. Hugs!


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty sure "owning my shit" means agreeing with him and apologizing profusely for everything on his laundry list of my sins, begging his forgiveness and bending over backwards to make him happy, fixing it all only to have him complain about something else or make shit up to complain about.


IOW, buying the bullshit he's peddling.

I'm broke now.

I can't afford it.


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last summer, I thought, "Maybe he's right" and I went all Dr. Laura on him.

Listening to him, telling him how great he is, trying to make the bedroom scene right again.

That didn't work.

Had a chance for some alone time. We picked up food.

While we were waiting for the food, we are sitting at a table in the restaurant.

He won't talk to me.

He won't even look at me, but some other man is looking at me. Staring. I got him to move to the other side of the table so the guy would see him and quit staring at me.

When we got home, we ate in silence and he went right to sleep.

Apparently, he must have shared some of this with his XW or SD, because he and SD kind of subtly mocked me for this during one of her visits.

I decided after that I will never lay myself out like that for him again.

Fuck him and fuck Dr. Laura!

[This message edited by loveisareddress at 10:59 AM, June 13th (Thursday)]


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
doggiemom12
Member
Member # 36041
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your husband is sick. He will never respond in a normal manner. Leave him.
This is will never ever get any better.

It is not Dr. Laura's fault any more than it is yours. It is all his fault.

Get away from him.


White bird must fly or she will die . . .

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: in divorce land
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your husband is sick. He will never respond in a normal manner. Leave him.
This is will never ever get any better.
It is not Dr. Laura's fault any more than it is yours. It is all his fault.

I know this. He is very sick and abusive.

It's not really about owning my shit-it's about owning his.

I am refusing to do that anymore and he doesn't like it.

He always puts his shit off on me and expects me to own it.

It's not my shit to own!

[This message edited by loveisareddress at 10:58 AM, June 13th (Thursday)]


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One, why are you still with him, two, carry a VAR on you or portable tape recorder to record your conversations with him.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Topic Posts: 8

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