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User Topic: did you dream about A?
scangel3
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Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you ever have dreams about the A? And not because of the stuff you knew about. More like a vision/preminition, of what was going on or going to happen?

I had a few but the one that has stuck with me that I can still visualize like it just happened was... We were at a family party ice skating, we were all having fun and then OW showed up. There was no drama, but WH and OW started skating together, like a couples skate you watch on TV. They were good together, but while I was watching this I got a sick feeling knowing who this person was, no one else in the party except one person that knew IRL about the A knew who she was in my dream. It was weird, awkward, to watch, at the end of their "show" they looked in each others eyes like they were madly in love with each other. Then i knew they were in love, I could see it between them.

Then the dream was over, I woke up triggering to say the least, this dream happened in the middle of a couple ddays, I was under the impression that they were done and it was a silly start of an EA. I told WH about my dream, needed reassurance that my dream was just that a dream, or a nightmare if you wish, he looked at me and promised it was nothing more then a dream/nightmare and he never loved her.

Of course I believed him, he swore they were over and nothing happenned, physically or emotionaly. But he LIED he did love her and I soon found out he and her were still together.

I told him my dream, he even comforted me, reassured me he didn't now or ever love her and they were over. He looked at me and lied straight to my face, continued their "relationship" knowing my dream and heartache, knowing how upset just that dream made me.

Did anyone else have these types of dreams that in a way came true? I should have listened to my head at the time, even in rem sleep my body was calling me a fool.


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Hearthache again
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Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only clue I had was dreams. My H behavior never really changed. He was depressed so always angry. Turns out most of the anger was him mad at himself for what he did.

My dreams consisted of him having sex with a women in a truck like vehicle. I never knew who the women was but it was him. Come to find out he had sex with OW in the back seat of her truck. I told him many times what my dream was. He just told me it was just a dream, knowing full well they were true. This was a recurring dream, not just a one night thing. It was the same dream that would happen at least once a week. They stopped after I knew the truth.

Second set of dreams was prior to dday #2. This time it was him having sex in a car. I kept telling him its not the same dream this time its in a car. He again told me it was just a dream. Just like last time, these dreams were the same one over and over again for weeks. DDay #2 he told me it happened a couple of time in OW#2 car at the park by his work.

I asked him why he never told me the truth when I already knew what happened. His response was I was too ashamed to admit it. He also did not want to admit that I was right even without proof.

He will never be able to hid anything from me like this. Both times there was never any normal A signs. He was always here. Never talked to OW on phone. Never saw them outside of work Hr. I can not believe a women would settle for just a few minutes, and I mean minutes on his breaks at work. How pathetic can you be.

I will occasionally have a dream about him cheating, but they are never the same and are very weird, not real like the ones I had before. I don't know how to explain it. Those dreams were not dreams they were different. They felt real, probably because they were real.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, we got in a big, fight, made up, and I woke up in his arms, after a terrible dream where he had moved in with a girl who had suddenly appeared on his "friends" on his social networking page.

He had left me to pay for the house, the cars, etc., so he and this girl could start over.

I woke up and told him, and he looked horrified that I would ever think such a thing. Now I know he was horrified at my intuition. The "girl" was actually his Ow that I didn't know about. She was trying to get him to move out and get an apartment with her.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2312 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
kansas1968
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Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very rarely. I did have a dream this past weekend while we were staying at a hotel. I dreamed that I found a note from her in our room telling him that she was in the hotel and to come to her room. I woke up in a sweat, had to get up, go outside and smoke, and then I woke him up and told him about it. He was so sweet and loving, saying that not in a million years would he had got to her room.

That is one of the few dreams that I have had. Thank God.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1319 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
scangel3
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Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heartache, this...
Those dreams were not dreams they were different. They felt real, probably because they were real.

This is exactly what I felt too, it was so real feeling. Like I actually watched this happen, not just dreamt it


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Emptyshelldad
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Member # 32292
Default  Posted: 2:22 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this was my dream about "the situation".
they were really hard on me.

nights are the worst. I find myself staying awake so when I do finally sleep it will be only couple hours, so I won't be able to dream....same dream everytime......I wake up to find That all if this since dday has been a bad nightmare....and I'm so relieved and freaked out how it all seemed so real. Then I live my life restored to the former glory pre-dday self. But after a few Weeks, certain things seem off, only a little, but more and more frequent the longer its been in my dream world. As I slowly feel the cold iron hand twisting at my insides, I fight to ignore the more and more obvious undeniable, glitches. Because Iknow now what is happening,....i fight it but the truth tears away at me....this world....my normal world is the dream and the nightmare I awoke from is my reality. And then I wake to feel it all brand new again. its emotionally wearing me away.


Me: BH - 28, Her: WW - 31, 10 years, 5 months, 6 days.
2 beautiful daughters. 1 devious, deceitful, serpant-like liar of a wife.
"oh god this has brought a path of destruction and scorching pain leaving in its wake a charred wasteland of a onc

Posts: 149 | Registered: May 2011 | From: emptyshelldad
sodamnlost
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Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't recall ever dreaming about it during the A but I sure do now ;( They are almost nightly now it seems. A few keep reoccurring. I have had premonition type dreams before, twice when I was a kid. I would have dug into this if I had one before Dday. Wish I had.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
libertyrocks
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Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not at all. I don't allow OW or A to invade my sex life or my dreams...But, I can see how this can happen. I just think about it all day long...

I'm sorry, scangel....

You're gut instinct is always right...


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
movingforward13
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Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I did, and for the last six month, I have been afraid to sleep because I will dream of them... Then within the last few weeks, I am not afraid any more. Thank God! No more dreams. Actually I have been having dreams of us back together...


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 640 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I had it right after their A went PA. I woke up traumatized and even told my WH about the dream. I asked him if he would ever discard me like that with not a care in the world? And he kissed me on the forehead and told me Never in a million years and that he loved me.

The reality ended up being so much worse than the dream. I remember fearing that dream would come true and it did ten fold.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I had a vivid dream about a strange-looking woman who entered my home & tried to kill me with hypodermic needles. As it turns out the time of the dream coincided with when STBX started up a relationship with one particular OW. Based on pictures I've seen of her since then she looks almost exactly like the woman in my dream. Further, she was a convicted felon who's crime was being a heroin dealer.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
grapefruit
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Member # 27090
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I used to have regular dreams (over many years) that my H was cheating on me. I would tell him and he would always reassure me that he'd never do that. The most disturbing thing about the dreams was the fact that he was extremely cold - like he didn't give a crap about me.

The dreams have stopped since D-Day. It was the *only* sense I had that something wasn't right, because I trusted him completely. I never understood why I had those dreams. I do now.


FWW / BS (me)
FWH / BS (him)
In R ...

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jan 2010
Phoenix519
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Member # 26186
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. My Dday was in May of 09, long after the A ended. The A was in 06/07.

In October of 05 I had a vivid dream of my FWH going to NYC with someone named Julie and having an A. I dreamed I burned our house down. The dream was horrible and I woke up panicked, sweating and crying and told him everything. In the first quarter of 06 he told me he had to go to NYC for work, couldn't get out of it. It was not something he ever had to do before, even my dreaming about him working in NYC was easy for me to brush off because the chances of it happening were zero. I reminded him of my dream and it was a big joke at the time. He even had the kids picking at me about it.

In the months following Dday I found chat logs detailing his trip with " it" ...they went to NYC together. And I found out her name is as close to Julie as you can get. Turns out he was already involved when I had my dream/premonition, and he went anyway.

I had zero knowledge of her or that he even worked with her. None, I was completely blindsided on Dday.

When I discovered the A, I immediately asked him if she went with him to NYC..he TT me to death. No, I swear he said...the chat logs revealed different. When I confronted him about the trip I said..My God, do you remember my dream? He said "Yes"..I said, and..you.went.anyway? Yes, he did.

He's damn lucky the rest of my dream didn't come true. The house is still standing.


Honest to God true story.

Edited for spelling

[This message edited by Phoenix519 at 8:09 PM, June 14th (Friday)]


Posts: 581 | Registered: Nov 2009
clralb
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Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not an A per say, but I would say in the first year and a half of our relationship I would have recurring dreams of me waking up and him gone, just gone. No note, no warning, just left me without so much as a glance behind.

Those dreams stopped after we were married and I did not have those dreams so much anymore.

No, not an A itself, but being left by him, him just vanishing with no word, no regard, like I never existed to him.


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
Take2
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Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The first three years of our M I had many dreams where he was coldly walking away from me with his arms around another woman. I told him about them, but he said he was having similar dreams, and imagined it must be newlywed related. I bought what he said and remained totally clueless for 28 years.

At 28 years things got really bad. He was cold, cruel and distant. For two months I prayed for God to show me the truth about my marriage. Then I had a dream wherein he confessed to an A. When I woke up - I knew it was true... I just knew - although I never would have believed it was possible - I couldn't deny that an A explained everything that was going on.

I told him I knew, and he denied it. I told him God revealed it in a dream and he finally admitted it. That was Dday 1.

Dday 2 was when he confirmed that he'd had 12 A's during the first 3-4 years of our marriage.

Thankfully none of the dreams were graphic. I was surprised when I learned doing some research that it isn't rare for dreams to put a BS on the trail... Guess we've all just confirmed that... but it still amazes me!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4135 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
thisissogross
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Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(Ok-just a warning-this post has to do with divination, if that offends anyone, please skip.I've always wanted to respond when I see these dream threads and haven't for fear of offending anyone, and I can't resist any longer.)

I didn't dream about it, but, I work with tarot and saw it in my cards. Weird experience, and h HATED my cards during early days. Hated. He tried to, kind of, dismiss me as a crazy woo-woo-witchy-poo (like he didn't know this about me when we married) and debate them for a bit, "it's like you believe the cards more than me."

Yup, I most certainly did. Shamelessly so. They never lied to me, may have been difficult to interpret @ times-but never deceptive. And what my deck had to say always matched our finances, phone bill and his demeanor.

Also, there was a day (fairly early in r) when he wanted a reading about something or other and I said sure (see? Woo-woo-witchy-poo is supercool and accurate when he wants to know about a promotion). But-he didn't realize that those were MY cards (actually neither did I till that moment) and charged with all my pain and confusion and desparate need to know certain things. That was quite a reading . . . My head was all but buzzing as soon as he touched them, the cards knew who was holding them, and just did their own darn thing.

Yeah, he didn't learn squat about work, I learned ALL kinds of stuff about where he was at and probably a little more about his turmoil @ that time than I think he was even aware of yet. As well as receiving confirmation that the a was truly over and that everything he thought he felt toward ow was an imaginary wisp of nothing, in addition to 5-6 months overview of his work in ic.

Hahahaha! Between woo-woo and the fact I would deliberately let him catch me tailing him occasionally (he's not clinically paranoid-just a tad for sure though) I happen to know he was quite frightened of me for some time.

Anyway, I think of these experiences (especially spontaneous ones like dreams) as gifts. Knowledge is always a gift, even (or maybe especially) painful knowledge.

[This message edited by thisissogross at 9:17 PM, June 14th (Friday)]


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 241 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
quoththeraven1
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Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The dreams have come since discovery. Not good at all. Interestingly, my first conviction that there was an affair came 5 years before discovery. I have no idea what I dreamed, but I awakened in the middle of the night suddenly completely convinced that she was having an affair with Little Prince Charming. I think my subconscience connected all of the dots without letting my emotions interfere with sound reasoning

Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
Vulcanized
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Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:44 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, absolutely had pre-cognizant dreams from roughly the minute he started A w/main OW.

Same damn dream for 6+ months & for the life of me, could not figure out wtf it meant. Had it the night before DD for the last time. On DD, I knew exactly what it meant.

The shortened, condensed version. Lost in an incredibly hostile environment with no phone, no money, no way to handle the situation. Somehow, always find a way to take care of myself & wind up where I need to be.

Then again, I've had a lifetime of precognizant dreams.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Bobbi_sue
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Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 4:26 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did anyone else have these types of dreams that in a way came true? I should have listened to my head at the time, even in rem sleep my body was calling me a fool.

This is actually a little scary to me because my dreams are often quite bizarre and I can't really see a clear meaning in them. Therefore, I have always been skeptical of "premonition" type of dreams.

Yet, it happened to me too, also after D-day 1, but just before D-day 2. It was like a premonition of the day I would be waking up to!

I had dreamed he was telling me that he was leaving for the Whore and he was in love with her.

I woke up and there he was beside me, like so many other times I've had a bad dream, it was a relief and I knew it was "just a dream."

But later after starting my day, I discovered him with a secret phone, and then suddently it was D-day #2!

All I can think is that dream was mirroring what he actually was planning to say to me IRL! It didn't happen quite that way because I caught him on that phone, but it turns out he had verbalized with the whore, they would plan to run away together, and they loved each other. I will never downplay what a dream can mean, again.

This scares me because last night, I dreamed I was about to be attacked by a man. It seemed very real and I think I was even calling for help in my sleep. I woke up, was relieved it was just a dream. But I still laid there thinking: does this mean something? Should I be watching for a potential rapist every where I go? It is just scary to me.


Posts: 5760 | Registered: Apr 2006
seekingright2013
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Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 4:37 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Night before last, I had a dream that exSO's AP cheated on him with someone he knew. She was moving some furniture (something she had bought or had in storage) and the guy helping her (a mutual friend of theirs) was HER AP. In the dream, exSO was shocked and heartbroken.

It is rare for me to remember my dreams. I am NC with exSO so who knows if its true. I will NOT be researching this to find out!

One kind of weird thing is the level of detail in the dream about stuff that doesn't matter, like the furniture that was being moved, brand of moving truck etc. I have no idea of who their mutual friends are, but i had a very clear image of what the guy in the dream looked like.

Anyway, when i ended our relationship, I did tell exSO that I was putting a curse on him -- that he would truly love someone, and that she would him exactly as he treated me.

Probably just my subconscious at play but I would so love it if the dream were true!


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
I tramp a perpetual journey.
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 119 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
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