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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 11
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct - It's really not that rare at all to see hops growing wild. We have them all around our area, too. The ones that grow on the AFA property have kind of a musky flavor.

I'll be getting a nice batch of Cascade hops from my back yard this year it looks like!

Never tried Big Bark. Sounds good! Remember when Celis was based out of Texas? I loved their brews. I met Pierre Celis once at one of the Great American Beer Fests in Denver in the mid 90's.


Posts: 4557 | Registered: Dec 2010
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are all a bunch of drunks. I like that.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Later

Thanks Losfer.
I don't remember Celis.

Big Bark is only available locally. They don't bottle it.


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Later, sobriety can be highly over-rated. Just saying.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2071 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rehab is for quitters.

Ok ok, a time or two or three, some of our brothers have posted updates on the length of their...
.
.
.
sobriety.
Props to you brothers.
To me, you're strong.

Not doing well in my NB. Said she call me - she didn't. Still hasn't. It's what? 9? On a Saturday night?

I'm good. I still got my chessfix in with some friends.
Ain't waiting around for respec.
I respec myself too much for that.
I loved every bit of her skin though. What I got to touch. Too bad.

Beer?
Cool.
Certain skin?
Intoxicating.

That'll teach me to start a thread in NB!


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JJ, absolutely right, I crossed a line I apologize. to my brothers who have chosen sobriety, I applaud you.

as you have already figured out, women are fickle. don't give up yet, but you know who to count on.

strength


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2071 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't give up, jjct.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks wal, means a lot to me.
We'll see.
Something about not making someone a priority who sees me as an option keeps rolling around in my head...
I'm good though,
because I'm my own priority.

4real, no worries mate. It's all in fun.


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4real - I think the Menz here understand our conversations aren't that literal. I've posted shit that's a tad overboard because I didn't think first, then edited it because it was insensitive or could be a trigger for some mates. But it's all good. I think there is a potential for any conversation to rub someone the wrong way, but I think everyone is smart enough to realize that anything we say isn't a personal attack or aimed at any individual or group. Like me making fun of the Army vets (because, hey, it's easy ). I have the utmost respect for them, but I know there is someone that could take it the wrong way. I would hope that if it does, they let me know so I can moderate myself. It won't hurt my feelings if someone respectfully disagrees with something I post. If I read something that upsets me, my first instinct is to examine myself to make sure that it's not my bias or lens interfering.

JJ, don't worry mate. If this one doesn't work out, there will be another to fill your eyes. Nice tagline update BTW.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Tred, appreciate it. More than you know.

I'm turning into a regular thread-starter!
Every man here should read "Unbroken". About Louie Zamperini.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0pulc6kDsk

& Lauren Hillenbrand?
Could someone here give her my #?
She needs to call me.
It's very important!


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whew. I was out of town in Texas for about the last week or so visiting my wife’s father (and family)…hot as hell. Lots of good stuff on here.
So, I have an interesting conundrum on my hands here. My wife and I still work with [POSER ROOMMATE]. He didn’t know about the affair while it was still ongoing, but after DDAY1(EA), the outcome of which got [POSER] (his roommate) fired, he gave me the coldest of shoulders….which in my honest opinion, was a bitch move. (And before anyone protests: I don’t mean ‘bitch’ in the sense of gender, I mean ‘bitch’ as in someone who rides between two dudes on a three-seater, loses at Street Fighter II, or camps the Sniper Rifle on any game ever.)
Well anyway, [POSER ROOMMATE] started warming back up to me, and we’ve been pretty cool for a while now. After DDAY2(Underground PA), he basically came to me and said “I don’t know what the hell exactly is going on here, but I want to stay completely out of it.” More or less, he just wanted me to know that he felt like a got dealt a shitty hand and was handling it better than he would have in my shoes.
So now, 6 months later, we’re pretty cool. It’s a weird dynamic, to be honest. We joke around a lot, and while we occasionally skirt around the topic of the A, it’s more or less avoided. It’s even weirder, because [POSER ROOMMATE] has begun to view [POSER] as the scumbag that I know him as…basically, he is like 3 months behind on his half of the bills and refuses to work anymore and just sits in his room and knocks down a 6-pack a night….so he basically comes to me to bitch about [POSER], because I guess [POSER ROOMMATE] figures I’m a sympathetic ear to hear about [POSER]’s shitty life. I even broached the subject with my wife, and her response was basically *shrug* “Eh, [POSER]’s a pretty miserable person overall….[POSER ROOMMATE] should just kick him out.”
So, back story finished, here’s the issue: [POSER ROOMMATE] invited me to go to a concert with him (Philip H. Anselmo & the Illegals)…now, the experience itself would be a shit-ton of fun. I waffle back and forth on whether I want to go because A) After DDAY1, [POSER ROOMMATE] giving me the cold shoulder kind of pissed me off, considering I was really the victim, and he got other people to give me the silent treatment as well. Work was uncomfortable for a hot minute. There was a ton of coworkers that basically ignored me for months. But, B) I have a little sympathy for him because we were both put into shitty situations by the same two people, you know? I guess I feel like I could try to “dig for info” through him, you know? Like it’s the best chance I have of scraping and/or clawing for A-related info that isn’t coming from my wife. That being said, I’m aware that the pitfalls of this are the same as trying to get info directly from any [POSER]: namely, that [POSER] could’ve (would’ve, really) lied to [POSER ROOMMATE] about any number of facts and so the veracity of the info is going to be dubious, at best. I guess what I’m thinking is that I could listen to what he *knows* and then if the info is different from what my wife told me, I’ll confront her with the story I got from [POSER ROOMMATE] and gauge her response. Thoughts?

P.S. I hate this.

[This message edited by FacePunched at 3:09 PM, July 14th (Sunday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder if P-roomate is trying to make up for his cold shoulder with the invite.
If you're cool with him, I'd dig into the reason for the cold shoulder, and what changed with him - before digging for nuggets.
It's easy for me to say FTG, why didn't you have my back?
Dumb conundrums!

OTOH, well, is a sandwich.

Go have fun.


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

total t/j here, but I found this pic.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, July 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aesir,

We're a bunch of sensitive men here! Is "I feel like another beer" a feeling?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey gents

Friday PM golf led me to the beers or was it the beers that led me to the golf. Another of life's wonderful mysteries. @ Losfer. Watermelon ? Dew-duhd.

My W caught me this weekend becoming angry. "Everything I do makes you angry." I had to admit that I was.

Looking at it now I can see that being out and about can make me feel kind of sad. Lots of women around (no, I ain't built that way). I guess it is hard to see them with no history and then look at my W (lots o history there) and feel a little sad. It is almost like I second guess the choices I made in my W.

Would she have been faithful ? Does she have as many issues ? Would she have treated me better ?

I am not saying it was the easiest conversation we ever had, but it was good to clear the air. She apologized and I did too. She is really scared I am going cheat on her. There is not a way to explain that you are not to someone who has without bringing up how much pain it brought you. I mean I wouldn't wish the Dday pain on my worst enemy.

I still resent my W. Even with the great steps she has taken, it doesn't make it go away. I guess it is progress when you move from being angry at them to being angry at your choices.

Anyone get that ?


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2457 | Registered: May 2010
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is really scared I am going cheat on her. There is not a way to explain that you are not to someone who has without bringing up how much pain it brought you. I mean I wouldn't wish the Dday pain on my worst enemy.

I really don't see why you would need to avoid pointing to your experience of pain when explaining that you are not interested in having an "A." I mean you don't have to dwell on it, but it's not like it's a secret.

Hell, early after the A I told my wife that the one thing I am certain of is I would never sleep with a married woman -- it's just not worth it. The price is far, far too high.

I have also told my wife that regardless of the pain I am experiencing, I would not trade places with her. Denial can only afford so much protection to the WS. Of course, I guess that varies with the individual -- for me it would be hell.


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We need a SI Mens golf outing...seems there are several hackers on here. I play when I can, which works out to maybe once every couple of weeks. I'm a solid D player though! I'm happy if I stay under 105.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My FWW encouraged me to have "an A of my own", and after a couple of years of it, I did. At the time it felt like more damage from her A than my own doing, but done is what's done. Not my finest moment, 'nuff said.

Recently, 35 years later, I started having terrible flashbacks, and went for another ride on the roller coaster. Trust me, the price of rugsweeping can be high, and paid later with compound interest. So, I enlisted FWW to help me through it, and she did better than the first time.

Now, FWW says she's worried I will cheat on her now. There's no way that's going to happen, and I told her so, but I also told her that she burned that card a long time ago.

"But how can I believe you? Am I just supposed to sit here and wonder?"

"No honey, you're just supposed to be over it by now."

Payback is a bitch sometimes, but we make the choices we make, and then we pay the price.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We need a SI Mens golf outing...seems there are several hackers on here.

I am in! Can play in Phoenix for the next two weeks, then up in Seattle.

Set it up Tred.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
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