After 2 y of great and beautiful romance with intimate (besides sex) connection, the dream has come to an end. My SO broke up with me a couple months back.
I am lost in pain and miss the time we spent together in my or her house, long breakfasts and conversations about life and future trips or projects. I was all in but now I know she was always on the fence.
Heartbroken is a bit*&U^% feeling.
I gave myself to her in mind and flesh, I was the most loving and caring, loyal, considered and honest I have ever been. I opened up to her the most intimate thought of my inner self, but it was not enough.
I am suffering because of my incapacity to stop my XW my make my life impossible with SO.
I am taking responsibility of my lack of character to have strong boundaries with the mother of my children which used them to torture me while I was with me SO.
I have learned plenty of things in this relationship which I will use in my next relationship and hopefully, I'll be ready to honor the person and give everything again. Until that, I will be recovering for a while and taking care of myself because now I do need it.
I do not know if my capacity to love and give everything is a gift or a curse.