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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: His family is freaking unbelievable
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The kids and I were out shopping today. We ran into their grandparents at one of the stores. I see them and walk away. I wasn't wanting to cause a scene in front of the kids. As we are walking away, their grandfather starts yelling, "you aren't going to let me talk to my grandkids". I thought about saying something but decided it was better to just keep walking.

I tried to allow them a relationship with the kids after their dad stopped seeing them. I had planned to take the kids over to their house. Then I found out they had been lying about my XH and OW being homeless or they decided to let him live with them.

Either way, if I had taken my kids over to their house the kids would have been around the whore who abused my daughter. I had already warned their grandmother if I caught her lying to me then they wouldn't be in the kids lives. I also told her that CPS had already told me to keep the kids away from them if I thought they wouldn't protect the kids.

They didn't give a shit about protecting my kids. Instead they protected the bitch who hurt them.

They know all the shit my XH has done. They know he failed to protect the kids from the whore.

No wonder my XH is fucked up in the head! His whole family is fucked up!

So fuck them! They had their chance and blew it.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9858 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Pippy
♀ Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're a good mama bear. You already know that protecting your kids trumps giving in to the whines and outbursts of idiotic in-laws. I'm a grandmother myself and I can tell you, just because someone reaches "that age" does not guarantee that they are sweet little old farts.


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so proud of you! I hate public scenes. Walking away showed a lot of strength.

You owe them nothing. And how dare that man yell at you!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5864 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Bravenewgirl
♀ Member
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it any wonder that they produced such a fuck up for a son?

IMHO, your kids are better off NOT seeing them. Anyone who would allow your child to come face to face with their abuser is unfit.

You did the right thing. The high road is lonely, but its cleaner than the gutter.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't care for public arguments either. Especially in front of my kids and in stores. I know from experience dealing with my XH that nothing I could have said would matter.

I know that I did the right thing but it took everything I had in me to walk away and ignore him. There was other people around us. They were looking at him like he was crazy. All he succeeded in doing was embarrassing himself and upsetting the kids.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did the right thing for the right reasons peridot. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4620 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like how you handled that, Peridot.

Something similar is happening, where there is an SIL who let Perv live with her and her family while he solidified his arrangements with OW. The SIL knew all about what he was doing and never said a word.

They had DD there to visit when he crooked his finger and now that I understand fully what was happening, am loathe to let DD return. There are other factors at that place, that make it unsafe for DD, but because Perv has different morals and "ideals", he doesn't understand this. He doesn't understand the "friends of the marriage" idea either, because of his choices maybe and he can't fathom why I feel this way.

I'm sorry for your hard time, but think you handled it in a good way, too.

It must have been hard or strange for your kids.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2306 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peridot,

Walking away is a sign of strength.

You did well, protecting your kids is the first priority. If they can't understand that, then they don't deserve to have the kids in their life.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5327 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Given the situation I am glad you walked away. It is always the best course of action - better for you, better for the kids.

The nerve of him to yell out at you. What a monumental sack of shit.

You keep protecting your kids mamma bear.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 3:06 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's crazy and you absolutely did the right thing, although I can imagine how crazily difficult it was. Hugs!


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Evil  Posted: 10:28 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CPS had already told me to keep the kids away from them

You did the right thing.
*pats Peri on the back*
They didn't give a shit about protecting my kids.

My X's family was the same way. I mean, how damn hard would it to say "FOTY, you're fucking up"?

So fuck them! They had their chance and blew it.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up for me too. And you know what has resulted from all of this? Now that my son is grown, he barely speaks to his dad and has NC with his dad's side of the family. And I seriously doubt DS will have much to do with FOTY &FOTYAMILY after he starts having his own kids.

Sucks to be FOTY. Hope the skankzillas were worth it.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6063 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems they always forget the kids will eventually be grown and no one will be able to force the kids to have any thing to do with the people who hurt them.

My parents were divorced. I was raised by my grandparents. I don't have a relationship with either of my parents. I tried early on to get dipshit to see what will happen if he continued down the road he's on. He didn't listen so he'll find out when the kids are grown. What he and his family don't realize is the kids already don't want any thing to do with any of them because of all the crap they have been through.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
Heavy Sigh
♀ Member
Member # 34243
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think in a situation where a BS is mainly just pissed off that the in-laws sided with their own child, that the BS should allow the grandparents to see the child.

I don't remember why CPS told you to keep kids away from their grandparents. The only reason I would keep my kids from the grandparents would be if grandparents were druggies, abusive, perverts, watched torture or porn movies with kids in the room or sat around stoned while kids run into a highway.


Posts: 1917 | Registered: Dec 2011
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said the OW abused at least one of her kids, and the grandparents were forcing the kids to be around the OW, knowing that had happened. Perhaps that particular situation didn't jump into your mind, Heavy Sigh, but I think making kids be in the company of someone who has abused them is grounds to cut contact with them. And if CPS even said so, I doubt you'd argue with them.

Editing because that sounds bitch and I didn't mean it to. Just pointing out the situation. :)

[This message edited by Coraline at 2:44 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think in a situation where a BS is mainly just pissed off that the in-laws sided with their own child, that the BS should allow the grandparents to see the child.

I am sorry but I am a bitch. Can't you read?!?

Try not to be so obtuse.

Peridot has already had a rough day with this crappy situation. Cut her some slack. And try reading the full post next time.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think in a situation where a BS is mainly just pissed off that the in-laws sided with their own child, that the BS should allow the grandparents to see the child.
I don't remember why CPS told you to keep kids away from their grandparents. The only reason I would keep my kids from the grandparents would be if grandparents were druggies, abusive, perverts, watched torture or porn movies with kids in the room or sat around stoned while kids run into a highway.


CPS didn't want the kids around the grandparents if they were going to let the OW around my kids. During the investigation I allowed them to see the kids as long as I was there. It was at the end when I caught them lying to me about my XH and the OW living in their home.

The OW physically abused my DD. She emotionally abused both of them. She also neglected them when my XH left the kids in her care. He was also at fault for neglecting to protect the kids.

I have never kept the kids from his family. I didn't have to let them see the kids during the investigation but I did. This has nothing to do with them siding with him. He's their son. I would expect them to side with him.

Oh, for the record these people are not saints. During the marriage I had to ban them from taking my kids alone, without me or my ex because they smoked pot with my son in the room. The did this at my XSIL's job and she almost got fired. They drove with my son(then 3 yrs old) in the car, on the interstate, 30 minutes from home without a car seat or a seat belt.

My XSIL told my son at 4 yrs old he could cuss at her house as long as he didn't tell me. At 6 yrs old, she gave him a comic book that had explicit language, cussing and sexual content.

It's more than me just being pissed off. My XH, the OW and his family are so fucked up that my children don't need to be around them.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
Random thoughts
♀ Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ heavy

I have never read a post here stating that the BS is keeping the grandparents away from their grand kids, its usually them posting if they should let them see them still after the crazy stunts they have pulled.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Eeew! Sounds like Jerry Springer grandparents.

You handled it with class. Good job!!!


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never read a post here stating that the BS is keeping the grandparents away from their grand kids, its usually them posting if they should let them see them still after the crazy stunts they have pulled.

I have to say after many years on the site, it's been more common for grandparents to blow their grandkids off after D. It breaks my heart how many times I've seen the parents of the WS totally cut their grandkids out of their lives.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 21
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