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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: stbxww text today...FU!
KeepOnMovin
♂ Member
Member # 38245
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBXWW stopped by to pick up her CS/SS checks today. i also returned her engagement ring that she left behind.
she thought she'd lost it. i've been doing pretty well. Sat at DS16's baseball game last night in her vicinity with no animosity. So i'm feeling pretty good.

About 10 minutes after she left, this morning, i get the following text, "You really are a good dad. I hope you have a good day tomorrow." i simply replied, "thank you"

But i'm thinking, i know i'm a damn good dad! I don't need you to tell me that! And i was an excellent husband! FU! for not appreciating me!

3 hours later, i get, "I do want you to know i am seeing therapist about me. i am trying to work on me.'

So i respond, "I am happy for you. We could all use a little help figuring out what we're all about. I know i'm a much stronger person and i'm growing. I hope you have the same experience."

Really? Why tell me this? WTF! What are you doing? What is your game? i'm not playing any more. Stuff that shit in a sack missy! You've blown this up! Just.leave.me.the.fuck.alone!!!


Me: BH
Her: STBXWW
Married: 21 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Separated and proceeding with divorce.
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

Posts: 295 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like she wants her ego stroked which is what you are doing. Very gently here ... if you want it to stop, you have that power ... don't respond. YOU know you are a good dad. Your boys know that too. She probably was fishing for a similar comment back and I am glad you didn't give it to her. Hang in there! Hugs and support!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know any of your story, I just wanted to say i hear you. I just came inside from mowing so I am bushed. I only want to say that we never got therapy. My ww and I both need it still. Do you think you can take her texts at face value. IDK Maybe I need to read up more it sounds like there is no chance of reconciliation? For me I would love to hear those kind of texts I think your response was very sound and you are very strong in the 180. I can use all the roll models I can get right now.

Ok sorry man I just read your profile I see where you have come from. I can relate to the deal you got. Peace brother.

[This message edited by notsosureanymore at 4:20 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]


Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some Exes think if they are friendly towards their BS it wipes their slate clean. I'd also keep an eye out for her trying to worm her way back in. Things might not be so great in fantasyland since its been dragged into reality. She might be looking for a soft landing or has you tagged as plan B. Whatever it is don't engage.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5615 | Registered: Nov 2007
KeepOnMovin
♂ Member
Member # 38245
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey thanks for the replies. was somewhat of a vent i guess. I kind of think she may be fishing. She does this every couple of weeks. it's like clockwork, almost. at least she wasn't nasty and hateful.

For me I would love to hear those kind of texts

NSSA, i used to want to hear those things too. STBXWW has been absolutely unremorseful throughout this ordeal. never even so much as asked how i'm doing. The problem i have is that i'm working on detaching. and things are going well. Some new friends just asked where i am and why im not around. I cannot allow her to hoover me again. She's done it before and it makes it so much harder to move forward.

I know her fantasy land sucks. She may be just missing the swimming pool for all i know. She misses having a blank check and she misses having me around to take care of EVERYTHING. She misses DS16. I'll be damned if i'm going to continue to be plan B, that's for sure.

Then i get, "I just don't think i'm strong enough to divide our stuff yet" just now. Really? well, when will you be strong enough? Cause my life's not going to be on hold while you "sow your wild oats". I don't need the setback tonight. really don't. I've been so happy. FTG(irl)!


Me: BH
Her: STBXWW
Married: 21 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Separated and proceeding with divorce.
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

Posts: 295 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know her fantasy land sucks.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FTG(irl)


Keep on detaching. You are doing great.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me I would love to hear those kind of texts

I did get those texts and I heard lots and lots of pretty words.

20 weeks after S he tells me he is ready to introduce his 24 year old office gopher to my then almost 5 and just over 2 year olds. I realised then she had been an OW for years - I trusted her taste more than I trusted his fidelity.

I sure did get hoovered good. It could not have happened without my participation.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=480828

No more responding or even acknowledging. Don't participate.

True remorse would shine through in their actions whether in R or S/D. Pretty words are just that, pretty words designed to suck you back in.

((KOM)) I hate this mindfuckery.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No more responding or even acknowledging. Don't participate.

True remorse would shine through in their actions whether in R or S/D. Pretty words are just that, pretty words designed to suck you back in.

^^^^^This Actions speak louder than words. And sending a text is not considered action.

FTGirl.

Happy Father's Day KOM...


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5017 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
KeepOnMovin
♂ Member
Member # 38245
Default  Posted: 3:22 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks!


Me: BH
Her: STBXWW
Married: 21 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Separated and proceeding with divorce.
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

Posts: 295 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 10

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