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Newest Member: hurtingnTN (44890)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Could you work near your stbx?
lknup
♀ Member
Member # 37433
Default  Posted: 4:13 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need full-time work desperately. A position has come open but it is at STBX's work location. I wouldn't see him everyday, but everyone I would work with knows him and thinks he is the best thing to land on this planet....
Could you do it??? I am considering it, but telling myself only for a year or so until I get my feet on the ground and can move on.... The position is not in my field, but finding one of those positions has proved to be elusive.

[This message edited by lknup at 4:13 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


Me: BH
He: WH
DD fall 2012
Getting a Divorce!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Nov 2012
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 4:29 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would I want to ? No

But if I needed the job I would take it.

Plus it would drive OW nuts and that's a bonus


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1331 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
hurting2much
♀ Member
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I work across the hall from XWH, and like you, his co-workers/boss think he is the bomb!

I don't see him every day, and when I do, it is in passing in the hallway. It can be done. For me, this is not the worst I have had to deal with.


Divorced

Posts: 1103 | Registered: Sep 2009
lknup
♀ Member
Member # 37433
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I am so conflicted! One minute I think yes I can do this! The other no way, this will be hell on earth.
I should add OW works there also, but I would not need to interact with her unless I chose to show up at an after work party just to antagonize her!


Me: BH
He: WH
DD fall 2012
Getting a Divorce!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Nov 2012
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whoa cowgirl; you need to think long and hard about this. You are less than a year into this debacle and, at least from your tagline, you have a ghost of a hope that you may reconcile. If your emotions are still in an uproar (even just a jumble), this is going to be a volatile situation.

Will you really be able to handle it? No one can answer this question but you. If you have a meltdown, you could not only jeopardize this position but future jobs too.

I realize that you need a job but you need to evaluate where you are in your healing. At less that one year out, you may not be far enough out from the betrayal. You can't rush your healing.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20141 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
lknup
♀ Member
Member # 37433
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would not reconcile at this point. But he still is full of *%$#. He has an ego that won't quit.
There is no doubt it will be an uncomfortable work situation. I know only I can answer if I can handle it.


Me: BH
He: WH
DD fall 2012
Getting a Divorce!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Nov 2012
Mandilwen
♀ Member
Member # 27186
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually helped my ex with his résumé to get a job where I work. It is a HUGE building though. As a matter of fact, former MIL works here and I see her maybe twice a year. My SO works here, I see him everday though. His ex wife works here and I see her often cause we are smokers. Some FWB I had going also worked here, but I rarely saw him and I don't think he works here anymore.

Anyways, closer to DDay I probably would have felt uncomfortable. Now I could care less and would not care if he worked in the same department. With all that said, there haven't really been any awkward situations, but there are roughly 5,000 people here anyways.


BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could not and would not be able to work at a job with the conditions you're describing. It would not be good for my mental, emotional or spiritual health.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9635 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 8

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