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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Hurting today...
♀ New Member
Member # 39506
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've spent the past few days reading self help books. Trying to build my confidence and packing. I woke up today crying and I can't stop. Today we would have started our vacation. We were supposed to be gone for 4 days of adventures sun fun and laughter. I have no doubt that's how it would've been had I not found out about his infidelity. Sometimes I wish I didn't find out. I want to text him and tell him how much this hurts. But I won't and I can't. I've spent too many days learning to accept this and he may possibly be on this vacation with the OW. I can't give him the opportunity to mock or ignore my pain. He has truly 180'd me and I can only believe he doesn't care. I need to stay firm in my decision to not look back.
I say all of this with hot stinging tears running down my face and my heart in a perpetual ache.

Me: BSO 37yrs old
Him: Old enough to know better.
3 years -raising my 2 daughters and his son
Dday#1 6/7/13 Dday#2 6/9/13
R: not a chance
The further she walked, the stronger her stride became and the louder her broken heart sang. -anonymous.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Sorry your are in pain today.

BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 39387
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry you are hurting today. I know on days I feel/felt that way I had 1 of 2 thoughts. 1. Complete hopelessness. 2. Screw that Ill show him. There are days I have to take a step back and Forget how I feel and Remember what I deserve. Moving through infidelity is not for the weak of heart for sure. No matter what choice you decide to make.

Ugh! Sometimes reality sucks.
BS (me) 31
WH (him) 33
OW - married Bar Whore Rig Rat
Married 14 years
3 amazing kids
DDay-3/03/2013 TT.The whole truth came out(hopefully) 06/09/2013
Currently on the roller coaster of R.

Posts: 48 | Registered: May 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage




I am sorry you are in so much pain today. Deep breaths and crying is a great release for your hurt and sorrow. We all know your hurt.

If he is not being remorseful or trying to help you I think you are wise to stick to your guns even though it hurts like hell.

It is hard to realize that the one we loved can be so completely selfish and self serving. It's a horrid reality to find yourself in.

If you aren't getting what you want or need from being with someone, it's probably time to move on. You deserve truth and honesty.

Try to get out of the house for awhile. Take a walk, go to dinner. Keep moving.

You will make it through and you will be okay. I know it doesn't seem possible but I promise you will.

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1143 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, Marley.

Reading this:

I say all of this with hot stinging tears running down my face and my heart in a perpetual ache.

...made my heart ache for you too. Sending hugs and strength.

I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17335 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♀ New Member
Member # 39586
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take a deep breath.

It's hard not thinking about the shoulda beens, coulda beens. I have been there so many times. And I too, have wondered and sometimes wish I had never walked in, but I did.

I cried for 5 hours last wednesday, it had been a horrid week, and it continued till friday.
But yesterday, yesterday was alright, and isn't too shabby too.

Try to seek support in your friends, go out and do something, even if you just go for a walk or sit in the park. It may seem hard, but I find sitting home and stewing all day long doesn't help. It's a fine line between grieving and going through the emotions, and laying down in a lump and giving up.

Don't give up.

Hugs to where ever you are.

There is no stronger message, then dirt in your face.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thinking of you. Feel better.

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Topic Posts: 7

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