You think you have healed, and then time shows you that in fact, you have not.
I can look back now and see the markers of healing and know I'm just about there.
I decided to take my kids to a hotel that ex and I used to always visit. It was one of my favorite beaches. I reclaimed it this weekend. Brought the kids here on my own, expecting to trigger...and I haven't. I've been more fucking proud of myself than anything.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
It is like a lightbulb went off in me this last week...I can see what people have been trying to tell me.
So, now, I'm tackling this deeper issue of the internal negative voice. I am making a choice to change it. But, it has taken me almost 3 years to even recognize the...problem.
I do feel like I've come a long way in my own growth/healing and I like it. I kinda like me. Someday, someone else maybe will like me too.