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User Topic: Missing the pain? Upcoming forgotten day.
anemie
♀ Member
Member # 37543
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lately I have just been feeling numb, I feel like I want that gut wrenching pain that came with Dday, not that I want another Dday or anything closely resembling it, I just want to be able to cry and get it out. I just feel sad and numb and I hate it.

And while WH is trying his best it drives me insane he can't remember shit. Our Dday is in Oct, but the date he "consummated his affair" is July 2nd. I expressed that with my due date so close to that and the fact that he started a new job last month I felt that it might be a rough day, last night he came home and told me he requested the 3rd off. I asked why, he said I know it will be a hard day on you and I didn't want you to be alone. OMG you can't even remember the day you F*cked someone else?


D-Day October 18th, 2012 D-Day2 October 5th 2013
4 kids 12,11,7, 1 and one sweet little newborn

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: MA
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I guess? it's nice to know that it meant so little to him that he can't remember the date. My FWH was the same and it drives me crazy. He finally put the damned dates on Google Calendar. I give your WH points for trying, but oy!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
newnormal
♀ Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The numbness is called the lethal plain of flatness. I think there is something in the healing library about it.

I might give him a gold star for spending the day with you if he had something special planned. Sort of a take back the day for you. Make special plans to have a pleasurable memory to replace the trigger.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG you can't even remember the day you F*cked someone else?

That's right - that's how important she was to him, he can't even be bothered to get the date right. YOU WIN!!!

Best wishes on the birth!

((((anemie))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2538 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
anemie
♀ Member
Member # 37543
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I had never heard of the lethal plain of flatness, I read up on it last night and it fits me to a t right now. My husband said he sees the pain in my eyes all the time, and he hates that he did that to me. I have been so fixated on what he did and even though I want to go through R and I love him very much I have not been able to look to the future no matter how hard I try. I just keep waiting for something to happen. It's a horrible feeling.


D-Day October 18th, 2012 D-Day2 October 5th 2013
4 kids 12,11,7, 1 and one sweet little newborn

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 5

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