Topic: Her first Date Night
Member # 36622
| Posted: 6:18 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013|
One of my conditions of R was monthly date nights. We would alternate months picking and planning our dates. It was to get to know each other again and share an interest we have with each other.
For 19 months I was the only one to plan a date. It was a subject of frustration. I would think "you must not want to spend time with me", even though we would always have a great time when I would plan them. I would think "I am just not that important to you". It was none if those things. It was just plain old fear of failure.
Well Broevil finally planned one. Last night we went to a Sideshow and Burlesque show. It was awesome. We had so much fun and got so freaked out.
I hope it has given her the confidence to plan more.
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"
Posts: 2584 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 37154
| Posted: 7:33 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013|
I'm happy for both of you!
Posts: 1729 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Member # 31240
| Posted: 5:57 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013|
Oh, boy, I'd like to take my W to a burlesque show - I don't think I've close to a burlesque theater recently, though.
Chicho, I urge you to hold broevil's feet to the fire going forward - not because it will hurt, but because it won't hurt. All she has to do is to arrange a simple date - nothing spectacular. She deserves the sense of accomplishment she'll get from arranging something you both enjoy, and you deserve a rest.
It turns out my W is better at it than I am, so we've had a lot more fun since she started arranging the entertainment.
[This message edited by sisoon at 5:57 PM, June 21st (Friday)]
fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.
Posts: 10076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 31528
| Posted: 6:29 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013|
Terrific update!! I'm so happy for you both.
Posts: 35167 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 31349
| Posted: 7:24 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013|
I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown
Posts: 17318 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 35812
| Posted: 7:52 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013|
That's wonderful! That's a date night that I would love to have!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 4804 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 38140
| Posted: 10:07 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013|
This is great! I am guilty of not doing enough of this as well. Rocky is so great at planning dates for us, and it is often intimidating because I fear my plans don't measure up.
For about two weeks, I stressed myself out about how to make her birthday special. I put together what was going to be the perfect family outing, and it truly felt great. Unfortunately the skies opened up and it poured on my plans. We ended up going to the local pizza place and had a wonderful time, and I realized that these dates don't have to be perfect. I'm sure she will recognize that as well.
Planning dates can awaken the creative beast that lies within. And even if it ends with just getting pizza, the beast is awake and hungry for more creative planning.
Sorry for TJ
Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn
Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 16024
| Posted: 5:14 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013|
I'm glad you had fun!
I love watching the two of you in your journey .
Take up your space (and do it well).
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
Posts: 37579 | Registered: Sep 2007
|Topic Posts: 8|