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Newest Member: Sleepy (44725)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Has anyone thought about saying thanks you to xWS?
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never. He inflicted too much pain on me and especially on our kids. Nothing that happens next in our lives will ever excuse that.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5058 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did thank FT for a couple major thngs that happened during the marriage. I really wanted to thank Twat for taking the FT out of my life. He was slowly destroying who I was and I never realized how much of myself I lost in the 27 yrs before dday. If she wasn't in his life then I probably would have lost Gma completely by now.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gma57, I can relate. Not that I will ever thank him but I am me again after 18 years losing myself and becoming an extension of XH. And I have to say, I think I am pretty awesome


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not that I will ever thank him but I am me again after 18 years losing myself and becoming an extension of XH. And I have to say, I think I am pretty awesome
Same here.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20368 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Um, no.
For someone who constantly competes for the spotlight, any attention is reward.

I will keep the thoughts and feelings to myself on how awesome I am, as well as how much better life is without him in it.


Posts: 4693 | Registered: Dec 2009
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh yeah you are all so right, screw that!! I think maybe I was thinking 'thank you for showing yourself to be the biggest loser that I have ever met' as I now can fully commit to myself.

For so long xWS just took from me and never once thanked me for the rough times I had giving birth to both our children. I feel that now I have two children to look after and not 3, life is so much easier!

Even now when I see him he tries to be all friendly and even puts little smiley faces in his texts. WTF! Doesn't he realise that I think he is the lowest piece of scum on earth and will never be his friend again?!

As tough as it is sometimes, I've realised from IC that I wasn't happy with him and I now know I am better off without him.

I look forward to one day being with a real human being who can love and nurture me for who I am, the same way I am capable of loving and nurturing them back.


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I said thank you to my STBX for that the fool would say "You're welcome."

Sometimes (umm..most times) everything goes over his head except for the parts that sound most like a compliment.

But I am thankful that he FINALLY did something that I couldn't rug sweep and just get over. I would have spent the rest of my life with that soul-drainer and it would have been a sad life.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
ManBearDivorce
♂ Member
Member # 36258
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My thank you is in the smile that I have every time I see my children. She gets to see how happy I am when I pick them up and drop them off. I wear it proudly on my face!!! She may feel better thinking it was for the best for both of us but in real life; I hope she can feel utter pain whenever I am happier then she is. Witch is all of the time now!

Posts: 339 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: St.Paul Minnesota
Random thoughts
♀ Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about thanking yourselves for unhitching the baggage that your way wards packed and shoved into your lives.

The road to nowhere took a turn onto new beginning, finding yourselves and shinning bright again without the self doubts, second guessing and playing Inspector Lewis.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1581 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I DID thank him. Because if he hadn't had the A and left, I would never have had the amazing, life-changing meeting with new man. It was hell at the time but the thought that the rest of my life might have been about that cold, unloving marriage... yes, I thank him.


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 860 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I'm still mad at him. I've worked hard to attain a modicum of peace and a patch of financial stability and I like my SO. But I'm still dealing with the fall-out of the mess he made. I still detest the OW and still angrily wonder how she felt so entitled to aggressively pursue my X. I'm 5 years out and I'm doing OK but I struggle a lot still. I'm not proud of all this negativity I'm still hanging on to, but there it is.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5798 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No all he did was have the affair and I'll never thank him for that. Everything from there on in is to my credit, not his.
I'll thank all the amazing people in my life and be forever grateful for where I am now,I'll be thankful that I have this second chance at life. But I'll never thank him for the agony he put me through.

Thank you MyVoice!! May I use your quote on my profile? You have set my thinking straight!! Thank you!!

At first I did want to thank stbx for leaving me thus allowing me to become a better and stronger human being. I haven't felt so much peace and joy in a loooong time. But you are right, I worked on me. My growth is not a reflection on him .. it's a reflection on me!! So the thanks goes to my Heavenly Father, my family, my friends, my therapist and ME!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 32
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