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User Topic: Horrible Night
Ladyogilvy
♀ Member
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was stressed. WH and I went to MC where we talked about my issues regarding his relationships with people at work, specifically his partners who were very much a part of his betrayal. In the beginning when WH wouldn't tell me anything, after a particularly bad MC,I went to his office to talk to him. He wasn't there so I started looking for more
evidence. One of his partners and I
hadn't spoken much since the first
time WH tried to get sober, he knew
what was happening, we were all
"friends" at the time, and he kept
trying to get WH to drink with him, he
even supplied the office party booze
for WH's birthday. I have given him
the cold shoulder ever since. Well,
this was his chance to retaliate
against me.

The bastard called the cops on me. I heard everything he said. He lied,
told them I was a trespasser
ransacking the place. My husband's
firm is a fairly large and prestigious
law office which has a lease
covering several floors of a well
appointed building central to our
community. The cops came up there
in force threatening to carry me out
bodily. I calmly explained it was my
husbands office, his name was on
the lease, and I had every right to be
there. I was completely cooperative

but for the fact that I refused to
leave. Eventually, they got my WH
on the phone to confirm what I was
saying was true and they left, but not
before much interrogation while they
looked up who I was and if I had any
warrants or something like I was a
common criminal. I may have
managed to remain calm but the
experience was quite traumatic.

WH was still in the fog back then, unsuccessfully battling alcoholism and he has always acted like this
partner should be rewarded for
having his back. I have wanted this
partner's head on a stick. It's a
sticking point for me and ongoing conversation in MC. His partner called the cops, without calling WH first. He assumed WH would be cool with that, after all WH was having an A and everyone treated me like
divorce was imminent so I was no longer relevant to their careers. My
WH started that firm, with my support and encouragement. He has been continuously been the rainmaker. Everyone depends on him for their livelihoods. they were only ever nice
to me because I was the bosses wife.

So, fast forward to last night. WH and I went to dinner near his office, parked in his office parking lot. I've only gone to his office once since the traumatic incident with the police. It was right after it happened and I was treated like a dangerous psych by WH's secretary who was keeping the door locked out of fear? What the hell, she and I used to have the most fun together and office picnics and parties. Obviously that area is a trigger for me and I've talked to WH about that but I did want to go to my favorite sushi place and was trying to
desensitize to the triggers. Big farmers market on the street made parking elsewhere unreasonably challenging. When we got out of the car, I was aware that WH kept his hand in his pocket and didn't try to take my hand until we were out of
sight of the office. His taking my hand when we walk is a remedial learned behavior from MC. It is unusual for him to "forget." It pissed me off and I intentionally
walked slower than him. When he told me to hurry up told him I felt like he was acting like he didn't know me. We had dinner, it was loud,
everyone knows him there, the waitresses all smile him and ignore me. We ate, went back to the car, same thing, hand in pocket.
Eventually he took my hand. We
went back to the car, he drove me to my car, at a nearby toys R Us parking lot.

Legos were on sale at Toys R Us and I did some retail therapy. Loading my car, I was aware my iPad was under my purse in the cart. I reminded myself to remember to take it out. Got in the car and drove off. Looked on seat next to me. Sure enough, I forgot the iPad. Turned
around, went back. The cart was gone. The store was about to close. The carts had been brought in.

I told them what had happened and
they were completely uncooperative. They didn't lift a finger to help me find the IPad. It sits flat and wouldn't be easy to see. They wouldn't even talk to me, let alone try to help me
which carts had been brought in recently. They just wanted to close up and go home. I asked if I could double check that I wasn't mistaken and look in my car again, would they
let me back in. They said yes.

The second I was out the door, the said I couldn't come back in because they were closed. I was shocked.
I told them that I had just been told otherwise. They didn't care. I asked why he would be so mean? I understood he wanted to go home but my life was on that iPad. My
erratic schedule of children's summer activities and doctors appointments, etc.. He relented. I check the car again, came back and the door was open. No one there would even make eye contact with
me. All I wanted to know was where to start looking and they wouldn't tell me. There are a lot of carts most of which would have been used at all, let alone that late but they'd moved them around to block entrances. Not
one finger was lifted to help or even ask whoever brought the carts in where they might be.

I had told them all from the beginning, I didn't care if maybe one
of them had found it and put it somewhere, as long as I got it back, I wouldn't be mad, I just really needed it back because my whole life was on it. It has a gps on it and would be found eventually but I
really needed my calendar right away. I'd gotten no response. Like I said, not one finger lifted to help. Are there no decent people left on this planet? The iPad would have sat flat in the seat in the cart. It wouldn't be easy to see. It was dark out. There was no foot traffic in that area. They
brought the few carts out in right after I left. Most likely one of them had it. I'm sure they get paid slave wages and I wouldn't blame them for taking it, even if only hoping for a reward, which I would have gladly
given. But nobody cared at all. I decided to call the police to report it
stolen.their response was to call the police on me and accuse me of making a scene. Starting to sound
familiar?

Huge effing trigger. The police came all they wanted to do was get me to leave. They were completely patronizing and absolutely useless to me... As usual. Of course, I did as they said because it wasn't on grounds where I was actually paying
rent like the last time I had to deal with police trying to remove me.

I effing hate the police. Seriously, are the actually good for anything other than crowd control and macing non-violent protestors? I hated calling
them to begin with but reporting the theft seemed like the only responsible thing I could do. All it did
was tigger me big time. After they left, I cried hysterically. Not over the stupid iPad but over the trauma of dealing with the police ripping open barely healing wounds. I now want my WH's partner's head on a stick even more that I did before.

It feels like everything just happened yesterday instead of two years ago.

[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 10:50 AM, June 21st (Friday)]


Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1512 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I cannot stand the police. UGH!!!

Please don't take this like I am defending them but sometimes I have to remember that they have no idea what they are stepping into so they act douchey because they just don't know. That thought has kept me from going to jail a few times!

I hope you get your Ipad back.

BUT this~

WH kept his hand in his pocket and didn't try to take my hand until we were out of sight of the office. His taking my hand when we walk is a remedial learned behavior from MC. It is unusual for him to "forget." It pissed me off and I intentionally
walked slower than him. When he told me to hurry up told him I felt like he was acting like he didn't know me. We had dinner, it was loud, everyone knows him there, the waitresses all smile him and ignore me. We ate, went back to the car, same thing, hand in pocket.

This stuck out to me. When Mr. Happy would wine and dine the cumdumpster he never made any physical contact with her. No hand holding, no hugging, no kissing in public, nothing. He told me that that was not what their 'friendship' was about. He took her to dinner because HE was hungry!

Was there anyone around in the foyer or parking lot that would have seen the two of you?? It's odd, he only held your hand when he was out of site of the office...HUMMM.

And then 'remembered' when he was clear of the office...HUMMM.

If your husband is smart enough to be a senior partner at a law firm and slick enough to have an A, he shouldn't 'forget' remedial behavior...just sayin'

It is no fun living in the twilight zone, and seeing yourself in funhouse mirrors is unsettling at best.

Dig a little deeper my dear Ladyogilvy. Stay vigilent. Because "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark..."

I am sending you strength and light. Please stay strong and protect your heart.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Ladyogilvy
♀ Member
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH does not get why I am triggered right now,let alone how badly I'm triggered. I'm so upset, I haven't even done the grocery shopping that I was on my way to do last night when things went so wrong. I'd have WH do it but he wouldn't know how to find the right things and besides, I'm not even speaking to him. hopefully my eyes won't be too red and puffy from crying to go out in public tomorrow.


Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1512 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If your eyes are red & puffy wear sunglasses.

((((HUGS))))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9458 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

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