Today has been a crappy day.
I have been triggering quite a bit today. The area where my WH's A took place has been in the news a lot today and the A has been on my mind even more than usual.
This evening my WH was reading some news online and started google mapping the area. When I saw that, I immediately triggered and was wondering if he was thinking about OW or the A, too. I didn't say anything right away but he did sense I was off and asked if I was OK.
I debated whether or not to tell him but I am trying to be more open and honest about my feelings instead of keeping everything bottled up. So, I told him that when I see or hear things about that area, it is a trigger for me.
And his response....complete silence. Followed shortly by him getting up and going into the bedroom and closing the door. No goodnight, nothing. I waited to see if he was going to come out and when he didn't, I went in. He tells me that since he is a trigger that he thought he should just make himself scarce. I responded that he wasn't the trigger. Then he said he is cranky and tired and had a bad day(which he did, but that is beside the point.)I said I was trying to be open and honest about my feelings and I would have liked to hear that he was sorry. He said that I know he is sorry because he said it before.
I am so frustrated. And tomorrow I am supposed to be in a 5K race to finish off a Learn to Run program that I have been going to. I had asked if he and my DD would come to see it. Now, I really don't feel like going but my DD has been excited to go and I really don't want to disappoint her. I cannot see myself sleeping well tonight now and I would have to up early to go.
Everything F!@#$%ing sucks!