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Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Sex life
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For SMY:


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
looking forward
♀ Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have never dreamed that sex in our 50's could get hotter than in our 20's. It's fucking amazing, literally.

Actually......Wait until your 60's!

(At least when I haven't been sore from accidental falls!)


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2839 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually......Wait until your 60's!
Yay! Glad to hear that LF! Ummmm, I'm starting to understand your fall out of the bed a little better now....


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
looking forward
♀ Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I can laugh today....
But it really was the cat's fault...
..And he's always in bed with us.....what tales that boy could tell!


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2839 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
twodoves
♀ Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nonexistant.

It's not that urge isn't there, it's just that the urge to sob is stronger.

I'm sure pregnancy hormones are NOT helping that.

The worst part is i'm horny often, but i feel like there's a mental wall there preventing me from having sex with WH.


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
startingover1090
♀ New Member
Member # 38485
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is non existent as well...


WH- 24
Me- 22
Son- almost 18 months

-Finding my way-


Posts: 47 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: North Carolina
CatchyUsername
♀ Member
Member # 39415
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am 6 weeks post DDay and it is 50% a 10+ and 50% awful because in the middle of it I sometimes get totally freaked and it is like I feel him touching HER instead of me. We actually decided today on a code word for me to use to let him know when it was happening so he could physically back off and try to just verbally comfort me...

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2013
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OH SMY you made me laugh! Too funny.

((Twodoves)) My therapist suggested in the beginning that what might help is if I find a sexually graphic visual to focus on - be it a scene from a "film" or book. I tried that and it did help. Then as time went on, I felt closer to him and didn't rely on the therapists trick as much.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our sex life is awesome. Right now it is totally HOT! ! !

Username - I had similar problems and told H that if he ever wanted to have good sex with me again I needed his help. He had to make me the center of attention and I focused entirely on the physical aspects of sex. It was just about me enjoying the physical no looking into each others eyes very little kissing mouth to mouth. Much more about making me reach climax. It went this way for a long time. But he learned to focus on me and the end result was sooooo worth it.

Now it's deep intimate awesome sex. It's both the physical act of fucking and the deep intimacy. We average more days than not.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5-6...a lot of it has to do with non-A related marriage problems.


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11555 | Registered: Dec 2009
Exrev
♂ New Member
Member # 39529
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pre A:10+...sooo active and satisfied
After dday: 8 as often but mentally couldn't get into it
3 yrs into R: 5 just don't care much anymore. Kinda dead inside

Posts: 8 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Abernathy tx
Hearthache again
♀ Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would rate us about an 8. Quantity is not the best but quality is better than ever. Last night was one of the best nights ever together.

I can't complain since we do have 4 kids at home. I can not wait until we are older and no more kids in the house. We may never get dressed.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
CatchyUsername
♀ Member
Member # 39415
Default  Posted: 4:29 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LA44 - in my case (risk of overshare here though I am not sure that is possible here) WHs sex with the OW was apparently all about her and not about the connection. He apparently helped her heal from her separation.

For us it is when we are NOT connected and when I feel like he is just trying to "get me there" that I flake. Eye contact actually helps - for both of us.

We are learning every day...


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2013
bitterbetrayal
♀ Member
Member # 26326
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post. Ws 56 years old me 56 years old sex life 10+ Wow us oldies are doing well. Lets tell the young ones


ME.BS 55
Him.WS 55 and a priest!
D-DAY 12/07/09
D-DAY-2 14/08/09
MARRIED 25 YEARS ON 25/08/09
BEEN TOGETHER 28 YEARS
TWO CHILDREN 20 and 22.

Posts: 160 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd say an 8. And mostly that is because it continues to get better and better. We learn more about what real intimacy is about. So I know it will continue to improve so I need to leave some room at the top of the scale.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6359 | Registered: Jan 2011
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

50s is still young in my book. Sisters, if you feel bad about turning 30 or 40 or 50, just remember you look like hot young women to at least one of your SI brothers....

No number from me - even the worst sex I've had has been better than just about every other activity I've done.

W says 8-8.5 - she's always feared letting pleasure in. Starting with menopause, she's let more and more in, but she still has a way to go.

Sex in our 60s is different but amazingly more satisfying than we ever imagined.

And that's even without doing kegels while reading SI posts....

[This message edited by sisoon at 3:47 PM, June 24th (Monday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9991 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd say it's a 3.

Sex is enjoyable when we have it, but we rarely have it.

I am weighing the pros and cons of telling my doctor about my lack of desire/libido at my next appointment (in September). So far, the cons outweigh the pros.


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2100 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WHEN we do it's a 10++++++

Problem is H lost his drive, (or stick or shaft ) and can't find it!!

Just yesterday I figured out how many times in a year it would (or wouldn't) be happening and

Am trying to decide if I can live with (or without in this case ) and am leaning towards NOT!!!!


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1278 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
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