Unfortunately, by intimidating and bullying you, she got the results she wanted.
I do hope that you and your start MC. You do matter and you do deserve to be happy.
OW did the same to me... called me fat, in fact had an entire conversation on FB about how fat and disgusting I was. Said I was a bad mom and horrible wife, ugly, worthless, stupid to take WH back, a door mat, a waste of space etc. I say, sure, I may be all that... but I'm still a better person than you because I have morals and ethics and loyalty and don't need to go after someone else's husband to make me feel good about myself.
She is projecting onto you, all the things she hates about herself. I'm sorry she got to you, but you are NONE of those things she called you! HUGS
but, keep in mind a few things....SHE is the one obsessesed with YOU. that is why she is contacting you, and felt the need to tell the wife off....and she was the one who was sleepign with your husband. now who sounds like the fool? and if she was so much better than you...and if their "relationship" was so important, then why did he dump her and come back home? there can be a MILLION excuses in the world that a cheater will tell his mistress on "why" he went back home....the kids, money, family....and using the "she will hurt herself" is right out of the wayward playbook as well. and deep down the ow knows this is true....and is trying to hurt YOU to make herself feel better about the situation.
that is why ignoring the ow is so important. there is nothing good that can come out of what she has to say...nothing. ignore her completely moving forward, and that will only reinforce to HER that she is irrelevant....and the fact is that she is irrelevant.
let her think whatever she wants to think about YOUR marriage. it is none of her business. you know what you need to do with your husband...and if he needs to keep his ass at home, then so be it...that is between you and him. she has no idea what is going on. she may "think" she knows what is going on in your marriage...but really it is just the fabricated, inaccurate, distorted version told by a man cheating on his wife. they all tell the same story....and ow fall for it.
she has no idea who your are..or what you are about.
stay strong. we are hear for you.
I just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to help my M anymore or my WH. I just want to hole up somewhere safe where no one could tell me that "I need to let this go" or "It is in the past"
My Dad even told me if I keep rehashing this A it will probably make WH leave. The way I feel about it is then he can leave.
i am in a REALLY bad place right now. A very dark place.
...told me if I keep rehashing this A it will probably make WH leave.
If only it were that easy...
This is the R forum..there is to be no name calling or venting about the AP here..which is unfortunate,because I have *so much* to say about THIS OW.
But..really..she doesn't matter. YOU matter. Who cares what she thinks about you? Her opinion is as important as Spongebob Squarepants.(Sorry Spongebob)
You have been doing so well. You have gotten so much more confident..so much stronger. How dare she come along and try to take that from you. Don't let her. You are a kind,intelligent,beautiful,amazing person. Do not let her win. Fuck her. Block her.
And..if you want to..put her damn name back on the cheater site. Consequences are a bitch.
Stand up,my friend. Hold your head up. You are worthy.
[This message edited by confused615 at 2:32 PM, June 24th (Monday)]
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
And, that stupid bitch was trying to make you feel bad. I know it's hard, but don't let her! Fuck her and fuck your H for now. You are an amazing, beautiful stand up woman. She basically wants what you have, your life, your H, everything...She's just pissed she can't have it. So, next best thing, she's going to try to ruin it for you
As for your father...well, guys don't really know what they're talking about. We are here with you, right next to your side every step of the way. We understand you. We have been there. I used to cut myself, too. But, you know what, I look in the mirror, and think would I want my boys to see what I've done to myself???????????
I'm so sorry you're a mess right now... :(...
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 2:49 PM, June 24th (Monday)]
I get that him telling her that is really getting to you. Feels disloyal, it was yet one more thing that he handed over. And yes, it was shitty. Can't change that. There are a lot of things about these situations that we can't go back and change that we all wish we could.
So what are you going to do with it today? Are you really back at square one with your coping mechanisms? I don't believe that, you have worked to hard and been here learning what you need to do. Right now you have just set those tools down for a bit. You aren't back at square one even though it feels like it, I know how that feels. It really kind of pissed me off. Here I was doing pretty good and someone came along and knocked me back down.
Do you plan on letting her keep you down? She really plays no role in this anymore, not if you decide that she doesn't. She can be as insignificant as you decide to make her.
I know in the end you got this CBS. Just may take you a few minutes to get back up. Big hugs.
This thread has already been flagged for OW namecalling. Please follow the forum guidelines. There is no venting about or namecalling OW in the Reconciliation forum.
Because you've got something she wants. Because when all was said and done he chose *you*.
She has to tell herself that he chose you because you threatened suicide. Otherwise, if you're worthless than what exactly does it say about her???
My OW also told everyone that he chose me because of the kids. Otherwise what would it mean about that great soulmate love she thought she had? That it was nothing???
Well, sucks for her. He loves you, he's staying with you, and she's a meaningless blimp for him.
Be strong. It gets better.
I thought I was going to separate or just ignore him and try to heal myself on my own, but he really helped me through this incident, on his own.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:04 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
Good. Glad he's stepping up crazy.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 12:29 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]
I am so glad you are feeling better & that he stepped up!!
Feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk, it really hurt my wh when he found me crying in the middle of the night & was holding me & I looked at him and said "you have no idea how hard it is for me not to cut right now" I haven't faced that demon in soo many years & just the fact that it crossed my mind after all these years etc really made him realize how deep he had hurt me & shocked me because I know that I know better coping mechanizims but there it was
That's the best possible update.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot