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Newest Member: turdlben (45332)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: So pathetic what makes D.D. remember S.T.B.X. and cry
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD wept this afternoon remembering when her Daddy lived here at home. Wanna know what reminded her of Daddy?

I had the kids in the car & we were driving home. DD took her seat belt off while we were driving. I scolded her harshly, she immediately buckled back up.

When we got home she fell into my arms & sobbed. "Mommy, you treated me like a baby in the car! You yelled and acted like I was a stupid baby. Just like Daddy used to treat us. So now I'm remembering Daddy and thinking how he's not here to yell at me anymore."

It makes me sick that getting harshly scolded by me makes her think of STBX, and then she cries because she misses him. What the fuckity fuck am I supposed to do with that???????


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hug her... and remember that kids have triggers too?

Hugs for you... parenting is not for the faint hearted.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5263 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your poor dd! That's so sad that her thoughts of her father are of him treating her so poorly

hug her extra tonight


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((N_G and DD)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Give her hugs and tell her no matter what you will always be there for her.

Had something as heart wrenching happen with DD16 today. I asked her to make out her grocery list so I could go shopping for the week. She gave it to me and right in the middle of the list she wrote, "a new dad that's not an asshole." Wow! Wasn't expecting that! As a parent you just never know when these comments are going to come at you...

Hugs to you and dd...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1187 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She gave it to me and right in the middle of the list she wrote, "a new dad that's not an asshole."

I am actually crying. So, so sad.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs all around...


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2305 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Hugs)))) everyone. Growing up is tough enough (16 can be especially tough) without dealing with this sh!t!!


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((DD & NG)))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25717 | Registered: Aug 2011
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG, that is so sad for you and DD. Big hugs to you.

What I am impressed by is that DD shared her feelings with you. She feels safe with you, even when you scold her harshly. That is wonderful. She is grieving the loss of her father, just like you had to grieve the loss of your M. This is healthy and much better than stuffing her feelings and having them come out some other dysfunctional way somewhere down the line.

I am sorry that you and DD had to go through that, but I think it is a good, healing thing.

(((((((NG and DD)))))))


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Topic Posts: 10

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