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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: just need to vent
brokenhearted76
♀ Member
Member # 39616
Shocked  Posted: 11:29 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3 weeks out, and the surprises keep coming. More of his lies keep unfolding. I am trying to remain strong, its just so hard sometimes. The "ow" sent him a msg on facebook asking him "how he is doing", i sent her a msg asking her to stay out of our life, that im sure her husband would agree. And i get called a b*tch! Im not the one who caused this, i didnt sleep with her husband!! And when i confronted my hubby, his response was "it was nothing bad, she just asked how i was"! The deal was no contact! I told him to tell her not to contact him again, he did, and she has since blocked him. But, today now feels like dday all over again. Everything feels so raw. Im trying to work on me, and do the best i can for my kids and i. And hubby wants to reconcile, he hasnt left the house. I just dont know anything anymore.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
Offhispedestal
♀ Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have every right to feel this way. Why didn't your H block her already?
Why the hell does he say its not a big deal she just wanted to know how he was doing?? That is bs. My H used to talk like that soon after DDay. In his mind he still secretly cared what she thought and even tried to remain friends....my ass! Your H knows what she did is wrong and his response is selfish.


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 629 | Registered: Jun 2011
brokenhearted76
♀ Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I know i have every right to feel this way. Its just such a struggle. Sometimes i feel numb. Sometimes i hide in a shower just to cry. One minute i remember why i loved him, the next i wish i could hate him.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, Broken. It sounds like your H is doing what Perv does, which is to interpret the rules and not do them. We've moved into divorce proceedings and it's still happening. I've even tried warning him but he is deaf to my words.

I'm sorry Ow was so unkind and I don't understand why there are people in the world with us, walking the earth as we do, who have so different a list of values and concept of right and wrong. Or just common decency.

If a man or woman is married, shouldn't it mean something? Stay away! Not available! and so on...but it seems so common, nowadays, even though I sound like my father.

I only had one contact with Perv's OW, I would not allow anymore. I didn't read much of what she texted, but she was basically starting a catfight when he tried to come back and pretend to reconcile. It was all lies anyway and she "has him".

But the more my own fog is lifting, I'm finding that someone who can do all that he did and know me as he did, well, I just can't be with him anymore.

I don't like you're H's reply either, and hope he will work towards respect for you and your marriage.

I still think that marriage can be a good thing and that it should be honored and respected, by the people in it and by everyone else.

I wish you peace.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
brokenhearted76
♀ Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really feeling out of control right now, and no one to talk to. My daughter(has emotional, and anger, and agression problems..bipolar,ptsd) is acting out today. And hubby is making things worse by being snappy and condesending(sp). Hes complaining about everything, never a please or thank you. And i look at him and all i can think is he has no right to act like he is owed anything! Hes the one who cheated! And all he can say is hes sorry it was a mistake! I really want to slap him! I fight to breathe and function, and he acts like a king! Im really thinking this is emotional abuse! I feel awful..headache, stomach pain..ontop of dealing with fibromyalgia


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
canteat
♀ Member
Member # 39636
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I am new here too and just want to say that I can relate to all that you are feeling. I don't know up from down right now. and if you told me my dog was a cat i would believe you. Although i have no advice for you or words of wisdom-i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and others feel the same confusion as you. sending hugs and good mojo.


Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13

Posts: 151 | Registered: Jun 2013
Pippy
♀ Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The obvious problem is you don't trust that he is remorseful or just going through the motions.

His defense of her messaging him is a big red flag. It shows he does not yet understand the pain he has caused you and is not serious about R.

Read about the 180 (Healing Library BS FAQs #11).


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9587 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
jackson
♂ Member
Member # 18819
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

im sure her husband would agree
Has her BH been informed of the A. Even if he does know he should be informed of her continued contact.

Posts: 790 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Midwest
brokenhearted76
♀ Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes her husband knows about the "a", he is actually the one who busted them. He picked up her phone while she was asleep, and found a msg from my hubby. He started snooping, took the night to process, and confronted her the next day, then contacted me. Then more details continued to come out. Her hubby said no more contact was allowed between her and mine. I agreed, they agreed. And she has broken that. I have no way to contact her hubby or i would. I had already warned him of facebook before. Im just tired of being on edge and feeling like this. One day i seem ok, mabe even numb. Then something happens that triggers all the pain again.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to find a way to contact her husband and let him know she is still contacting your husband.

Why hasn't your WH blocked this whore?


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7155 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
brokenhearted76
♀ Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have tried to find a way to contact her hubby. No luck. Im not sure what else to do. Its just been a bad day. Just feeling over whelmed and stressed out. Its almost time to try and sleep, and im dreading it. Its the quiet times that my mind seems to get the loudest. And i know tonight is going to be bad.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
Topic Posts: 11

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