The good news: my xWH has been dis-invited from the big event at my work in 2 weeks time. So YAY! no risk of running into him or having him harass me in any way.
The meh news: I really like TG, the guy I'm dating. But he's got a job offer further away and while at first when we discussed it I was asking him to stay, I'm realizing it's better if he takes it. He's got some financial stuff he needs to clean up that this job will do, and I think his ego is taking a beating over this (his ability to earn and solve his own problems) and it's caused him to be brusque (causing me to be ridiculous in turn) and ... after much reflection, when he and I next speak I'm just going to lay that out. And tell him to take it. It'll mean an LDR for the time being and if it's meant to be, we'll survive it.