Topic: 6 Year Update
Member # 32214
| Posted: 9:23 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
Thank you so much. Those type of posts give everyone hope.
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Posts: 1098 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Member # 20547
| Posted: 11:17 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013|
I am also 6 years out this month, and even in a situation where an OC was conceived, I feel very much the same way.
Good for you and your spouse, Harden.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell
Posts: 1788 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: The Pacific Northwest
Member # 34782
| Posted: 12:37 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013|
Thank you for the positive post. It is encouraging. You are right about anger. You do have to let go of the anger.
Me BW - 46
Him WH - 53
Together 23 yrs, Married 18
DDay August 2011
2 kids - 13 and 15
Gotta love the life that we livin'
Posts: 376 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 35004
| Posted: 6:15 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013|
This is very timely. In MC our counselor gently hinted that it's time to start focusing on the present.
We have worked hard to sort through this. My H continues to make strides in changing that part of him that led to his cheating.
While I'm not quite ready to let it fully go, I know that eventually it will need to happen.
BS - 62
WH - 60
Married 34 years
Doing well with R
Posts: 829 | Registered: Mar 2012
Member # 37043
| Posted: 9:31 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013|
I love the focus on YOU in this post. Especially this part because it is my philosophy as well. It is a philosophy I am not living all day, every day, but for many moments at a time:
I now know that the secret of happiness is a calm mind. In other words, just being relaxed and enjoying what is around you at the moment; nothing more and nothing less. Learning to accept that the past is just memories, and the future has endless possibilities. To stop worrying about mistakes from the past and no longer dread a future that has not yet arrived.
Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.
Posts: 659 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 36475
| Posted: 9:21 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013|
Thanks for posting,I really needed to read a positive story. I am a year & 3 months from D-day. I am still suck on the anger stage. So happy for you.
1st DD 03/24/2012 2nd DD 07/13/2012 TT A. in 2002 same girl when we were dating.
Status:Getting Stronger...we can get through this & are healing together
LTA 10 yrs EA/PA 9 times. friends with benefits.
Us..Together 12 yr
Posts: 122 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Member # 4313
| Posted: 10:51 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013|
Oh my gosh has it been that long? Seems impossible... I remember when you first came here and how you struggled to understand what your WW was going through. I'm so happy that you're in a good place. May a day never pass without your wife saying a prayer of thanks that you gave her a chance to reconcile.
Blessings on you both.
You can't heal what you won't feel.
"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."
Posts: 23463 | Registered: May 2004
Member # 15902
| Posted: 3:00 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013|
Thank you everyone for the kind comments and well wishes.
I remember when you first came here and how you struggled to understand what your WW was going through.
Fallen...It's kind of strange...at times, it feels like it was such a short time ago, and at other times it feels like it was a lifetime ago.
I'm happy you and your H are doing well.
Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 29 years, Happily Reconciled
The moment you get angry while arguing with someone, is the instant you stop striving for the truth and start trying to prove yourself superior.
Posts: 5448 | Registered: Aug 2007
Member # 19246
| Posted: 10:41 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013|
Congratulations to you and Mrs. HMH...nice of you to share and inspire....I often look for posts from us "older" folks who have come a long way since dday....
Your words about a "calm mind" and The "Desiderata" are words to live by....
Posts: 1064 | Registered: Apr 2008
Member # 27303
| Posted: 8:44 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013|
Me-41 FWW Him-44BH
M 13years. Reconciled.
DDay#1 Nov 2008 (OM2)
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Confessed to OM 2001)
"The only thing permanent is change." Dr Charles Mayo,1930
Posts: 1848 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The SouthEast
|myone and only|
Member # 26450
| Posted: 8:17 AM, July 1st (Monday), 2013|
Thank you> I also needed the positive post today.
me BS 51
her WS 45
"Just You And I"
Posts: 67 | Registered: Dec 2009
♂ New Member
Member # 39726
| Posted: 3:52 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013|
Your post has given me great hope. I have been going through this on my own for 2 years and I'm feeling like it will never get better. This is my first post here. I still have my wife, but she's never been hurt like this so she can't relate. I found this site just a few days ago and this took me out of my hateful mind for the first time in a long time. I hope that I can get to where you are soon.
Thank you so much for posting your update
Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013
|Topic Posts: 32|