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Newest Member: alwaysnforever (44266)

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User Topic: We went from looking for rental to buying
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need your help friends... Our lease is up in July and my SO and i were looking for a townhome to rent...well the guy would not budge on the price so we moved on.... My SO's friend convinced him to go look at what i thought were townhomes but turned out to be homes...then as the agent who is showing him the home asked if he ever thought about seeing if he would qualify to buy it sparked an interest...

He brought home a few of the fl plans and I really liked a couple of them...Sun he and i both went and looked at some models..we saw a model that we both liked...oh boy this is serious...
let me say that this is new territory for me my friends...

My ex and i went looking at houses too when we were married but it never ever progressed to actually buying a home bc our relationship was so F'd up...our marriage never progressed in 9.5 years...On the other hand SO and i have been together for almost 5 yrs and we have been planning for the future...not about marriage but we both love each other and neuther of us are going anywhere anytime soon..

My question is do people buy homes when they are not married?? We already have a car that is in both our names that hes paying the note on but a home, that's a huge step.....
I really want a home and it is very reasonable for us money wise...actually he and i both qualified for a loan his credit is much better than mine because the student loan comp have already put my loan out on my credit report. Now my debt ratio is much higher than my take home pay...the loan officer was taken back on how much my student loans were...im not sure if i would be able to buy a home by myself anytime soon.. Definitly not in the nxt 10 yrs...

What say you?


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes people buy homes together, and aren't married frequently. Make sure that you guys have a very clearly written contract as to who is responsible for what should either of you walk. It's precautionary, and he should get that. I think many of the loan places require it.

Good Luck.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7797 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good idea thanks...


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
lost_in_toronto
♀ Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have owned a home together since 2005. Actually, we are in our second home now. We are not married and do not intend to get married, but we had lived together for two years when we bought, which in Canada made us common-law already.

I agree that having a legal contract drawn up may be beneficial. Good luck!


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1652 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was talking to a close friend just now and she said with both of our names on the loan we both are responsible obviously but she doesnt feel that a separate contract is really necessary...

Should that surfice?


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're addicted to House hunters and HH International, and lots of the couples are unmarried, so it seems not only 'done' but 'commonly done'.

IMO, a contract is still a good idea, even if you both put up 50% of the down payment and closing costs and plan on splitting the costs 50-50.

What'll happen if one of your runs into financial trouble and can't meet your obligations to your SO?

What'll happen if you split? For example, if you split and one wants to buy out the other, how will the house be valued?

Etc., etc., etc. A contract with a good lawyer could prevent so many problems.

Good luck, though, whatever you choose.


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9757 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We bought our home together in 2002 we and we were not married until 2007. However, it would be almost the same if someone walked. Someone would have to buy the other out or refinance in own name. You both are responisble for the mortgage.

I see nothing wrong with buying a home this way. As long as neither one is claiming the home in arguments. That happened to me. I walked but we are married but Damn I hated to hear that all the time even tho it was not true.

Also most people are not like my wh.

Good luck and you will love being a homeowner because it is YOURS!


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)37
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2652 | Registered: Aug 2011
jennie160
♀ Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I would never buy a house with a SO simply because of what I have been through with XH. We bought our house before we were married, I felt stuck because we had the house together and couldn't easily get out and ended up marrying him.

What if your SO took the mortgage out in just his name but you essentially split the bills. Then if down the road (you get married, or just more comfortable) he can quit claim to add your name.

If you do put the mortgage in both of your names make sure that one of you could qualify for that amount on your own. That way if shit goes down you won't be stuck with your name on a mortgage because your SO can't refinance into just his name.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
LoveActually
♀ Member
Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in the mortgage business and people that aren't married buy homes together all of the time. What your friend said is correct. A contract between the two of you wouldn't matter to the lender--you will both be on the loan and both responsible for the payment no matter what. If the relationship ended then one of you would have refinance the home into your name or sell it--that's the long and short of it. Hurry and buy something rates are going sky high again!


BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 757 | Registered: Jan 2011
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me and FWH bought a house together before we were married.

It was only in my name, and when we separated due to the A, he paid his half of the mortgage while not living there, while I put it up for sale.

Hope that helps.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
7 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 2158 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great info thanks everyone...
Yes, both of us qualify but my student loans are on my credit even though im not even out of school yet.. So to a losn officer it looks l do not make enough money to cover my debt.... On ther other hand SO does not have much debt and qualifies alone...

For the record having my name on the mortage is the right thing to do...he has 4 sons and i do not have any children and if something happens to my SO his sons can come in and put my arse out....

I appreciate everyones input..


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make sure your name is on the mortgage AND the deed.

When we were divorcing OW contracted to build a new house. She did this on her own, because if XH was included, his portion of that house would have to be listed in our financials as his asset, and since FL is a community property state - I could claim half of everything he owns.

Anyway OW did that all on her own. When she married XH, it was till in her name only. At some point they refinanced the mortgage and he was a co-borrower. But he was NOT on the deed. Therefore he did not own the home... just the mortgage to pay for the home.

If something happened to NW, XH would still be responsible for the mortgage, but the house would have transferred to her estate, which could have gone to anyone she included in her estate. It might not necessarily have been him.

So make sure you are on the DEED and the Mortgage.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4847 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

K, thanks for that info... I have a dumb quest.....when is the deed signed during closing or in the beginning?

Thx


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1772 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 13

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