If her commitment to you or the only commitment she is willing to provide after betraying your trust is wallet deep, why would you want that ?
I am not saying you shouldn't but something to explore. IMHO it is a WS that needs to work their way back to the M. They have been proven to not honor their commitments. The burden of proof is on them to show that they are worth the risk. No the other way around.
I think maybe you are interpreting things in a way or looking at things "that may happen," as though they are actually occurring. Life is too short.
I think an honest discussion with your W about what she really wants and if the M to work is in order. Tell her just like you told us about your fears and concern that she doesn't love you, etc.
If she says she doesn't and doesn't think it will come back, is there really a M to save ?
DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.