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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Insanity followed by Depression?
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

D-Day was 2 1/2 weeks ago. I have been a disaster, my emotions all over the road, but for the last few days I feel like I am sinking into more of a depression. Is this a normal next step? I am going through the motions for only the things I absolutely have to do which is care for my 8 and 6 year old. Other than that, I can't focus on work, I can't find the motivation to clean the house, I can't even concentrate on tv. I feel this depression (which btw, I've never had in my life) is going to take me over. I know I should focus on myself and get out and do things, keep up with exercise, etc. but I just don't have it in me. I'm wondering if this saddness/hopelessness is a normal next faze after the complete insanity that has been the first 2 weeks. Anyone else? Little history, I've been married to my "best friend" 10 years next month, together 15, we have 2 kids and he's been having an affair with a coworker for the last few months. A woman that I was friendly with.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
needrespect
♀ Member
Member # 37951
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((OldCow18))) cyber hug
This is completely normal. Welcome to the site, you will find great advice and comfort here. If you have not already done so, please check out the healing library in the upper left corner(yellow box). There is some great articles in there . Someone with better advice will be along shortly. I just wanted to welcome you and let you know you have been heard.


BS-me 45
WH-40
married 11 yrs, together 15
DS13 DS9
Dday May 2012 EA
False R... Dday#2 11/30/2012 PA same MOW

The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
Status:%$$&^&^$#@@
seems I'm on the 15 year plan


Posts: 69 | Registered: Dec 2012
vistainc
♀ Member
Member # 37688
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What you are experiencing is completely normal. I am 6 months out and stillha ve issues. I am taking depression meds and they have been very helpfu . Nothing wrong with making an appointment with a counselor.

(hugs)


Me BS 48
WH 53
4 Sons 26, 25, 23,18
D-Day 11/20/12

Posts: 156 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Western MA
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Helpless  Posted: 2:03 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Old...

Yes, what you are feeling is completely normal in every way. You are in shock and you are most likely depressed.

This information takes a toll on your body, mind and soul. Be kind to yourself and try as best you can to get up, drink water, go for a walk. Make yourself.

I was exactly in the spot you are in for the first 4-6 weeks. I could barley get out of bed, barely function. It was awful.

Please see a doctor to get some medication to help with your depression and anxiety.

Please take one day at a time and hopefully you are seeing an IC. For you. Right now you have to focus on YOU and healing.

We are all here and we all understand your heartbreak.

Sending hugs


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Apr 2013
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for responding, it's so helpful to know there are others out there who know exactly what it's like, although I wish none of us had to go through this.

I am seeing a counselor, my next appointment is tomorrow and I will let her know that the depressed feelings are getting stronger.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
brokenhearted76
♀ Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im on the roller coaster ride thru h*ll right along with you. 3 weeks out from dday here. And depression is my constant companion. I barely function, thank goodness my kids are 17 an 13, or my house would have fallen apart. You are far from alone here. Unfortunately there are alot of us here.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went through the same for at least a month. After that, each week something else came "online": first eating again, then being able to go for walks, going to the movies, then sleep, then work. I'm even procrastinating again now :)

Be kind to yourself and hang in there. There is no way to rush it. When you want to cry, just cry. You'll feel better getting it all out. And that will keep happening for weeks and weeks. I still cry at certain triggers-- but I let myself and then it's done. Try to listen to your body as much as you can!


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
Stayinginit
♀ New Member
Member # 39714
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally normal. I did not force myself to fight the depression, and it was a very dangerous down ward spiral, that went on for half a year. Whatever happens, please fight the depression.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jun 2013
RedRaven6500
♀ Member
Member # 39626
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went through about 3 weeks of depression, then one of the OW that my WH was having an affair with started getting scary, started saying she was 26 weeks pregnant, wanted to confront my college bound daughter with the news that she was going to have a half sister, and many more crazy things. It snapped me out of my depressed state because I now had to protect my child. Now, I hope that nothing like that happens to you to snap your focus back in to place, but eventually something will get you there. My counselor suggested to use my anger to deal with my depression. It did help. There is nothing wrong with having emotions, understanding them, and using them. Sometimes I feel we tell ourselves that we have to hold everything together, that we can't be weak. Well, we are human, we have emotions and feelings and sometimes we fall apart. It's okay. Just know that your situation is unique and that you will deal, grieve and move on at your own pace.

[This message edited by blking at 4:39 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]


BW: Me 42, WH: Him 42, Married: 22 years
DD: 21, DS: 20 both in college
DDay: 22 Oct 2011
Year PAs/EAs started: 2004, possibly 2003
OW: 3 "serious" long-distance A's, several casual A's, some at the same time. Classy.
In R

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 9

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