SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So...this guy emails me about a week ago or so and we talk a little bit about running as he is starting to get into racing. He tells me he is an OBGYN...which is pretty impressive. Owns his own software business that he is starting up and enjoys sailing..... my first instinct is..."SO, what is wrong with you?"

He sends me an email today after just unhiding his account for a week that his match account runs out today and he wants to keep in touch...giving me his phone number and email address... wants to take me out for dinner or a drink sometime.

IDK ..... you know what they say about too good to be true....

Plus...this on again off again account stuff is a slight red flag to me.... am I just weirding out again?

you know what they say about too good to be true

My first thought... what OBGYN has time to start their own software business?

Do you have his name? Have you google searched him?

I don't know. I don't feel like you have enough info for there to be a red flag yet?

His account is closed now. Its almost as if he hid it again right after he sent his email.....or is this a possible coincidence?

My guess is a real OB/GYN could afford to keep his account active.

Just sayin'...

AJ's MOM

Well....he gave me his email address that had a last name on it and I put two-and two together and googled him and VOILA! Apparently he is an OBGYN! But, it just seems odd to me....why on earth would a decently attractive doctor have trouble finding people to date!!!??

My guess is it's because he's a gynecologist. Right or wrong, that may weird a lot of women out.

Or, just perhaps, he's posing as this OB/GYN.

Honestly, it's up to you if you want to follow-up or not. Frankly, I think he's playing you but what do I know.

Dayem, girl, it's almost like you have to CSI every guy that responds!

Or, just perhaps, he's posing as this OB/GYN

This is my thought as well. When you google him does it show what practice he works for. A lot of practices have pictures of their doctors.

why on earth would a decently attractive doctor have trouble finding people to date!!!??

Because he doesn't want his wife/gf to know he is dating??

I feel like this is a no-win cycle. You'll never find a decent guy if you assume that every decent guy you meet is fake.

I feel like this is a no-win cycle. You'll never find a decent guy if you assume that every decent guy you meet is fake.

I agree with this, completely. Gently, if you're going to look for red flags in everything...you're going to find them. Know what I mean?

There is something about assuming the worst so soon that says you don't trust your instincts and boundaries enough to have a date or two and be safe from making a dumb mistake.

Totally understandable.

But you are not ruled by your past. You are a capable woman with maturing self-knowledge and confidence and you can go on a date safely to gather more in-person information if you choose.

My take? Trust your gut. Sounds like he is too good to be true.

OB/GYN, software business, sailing and racing?! He'd have to have a body double to keep up with it all! It's just too much. If all that were true and he were a normal guy, he wouldn't have to put all that out on the table so quickly to impress you. Doctor would be enough. So, even if it is true, there's NPD or something going on that is causing him to have to show off for you; to "charm" you, if you will.

Also, the account on again, off again thing bothers me.

Caveats: I am a suspicious person by nature and I haven't started dating yet, nor do I know a THING about online dating. I can see what the others are saying re: relax, it couldn't hurt to go out for coffee with him, right?

How are you doing re: IC and your own healing? That would be the other thing that I would worry about is if he is another fraud trying to suck you in. God forbid you fall for it.

I don't know, I hide my profile constantly. I'm only "on" if I see someone that has my attention. I leave it up long enough for a few emails, give him my "fake" email address so I can pull off Match.

Also, I'm not sure he would want his patients to see him on Match. I don't find it strange.

Have a cup of coffee with him and see what he is like...

My concerns are as others have shared the "over extended" nature of his businesses. Knowing the hours my OB/GYN keeps and its very on-call nature, I'd find him having time to be an entrepreneur with his medical career difficult at best.

His new interest in racing...hmmm...also a light red flag.

The profile on/off bit - can't really comment because I'm not doing it, though from the 10,000 foot view it seems odd.

If you do decide to meet him, I'm quite sure your BS radar being as good as it is will smell a fake a mile away.

Just be careful. It takes nothing to make a fake email account using someone else's name. Not that I'd know anything about that.

.why on earth would a decently attractive doctor have trouble finding people to date!!!??

One word - TIME.

IDK - I wouldn't think nefarious things about him based on anything you've written, but I might wonder about how available he actually is given his occupation and his active hobbies.

But that's putting the cart just a bit before the horse. What harm can there be in meeting him for coffee?

Why do you think he has trouble finding a date?

If its because he's on OLD, so are you! Does that mean you're automatically suspect too?

Second, I used to turn my profile on/off based on whether I found ONE person I was interested in dating for a bit. I am horrible at multidating, so I concentrated on one person at a time, only posting my profile again once I "next" a guy.

It sounds to me that he's a guy who has a comfortable lifestyle and isnt afraid to try new things. That's a plus or a minus, depending on how much of a risk-taker you prefer in a mate.

Call him up and ask him what kind of uterine sound he uses and if he hesitates look for another OBGYN.

I list my interests on OLD as dancing (I go about 3x a year because I have no one to go with), bocce (only played two seasons), baking (for church potlucks). Just because something is a hobby doesn't mean that someone does it every weekend.

My OB/GYN sails, but I live in Annapolis, everyone sails here

Totally get why he would be looking to get into software, OB/GYNs have one of the highest malpractice ins rates out there, pretty much if you don't work in a large group (less money) you can't afford to practice. Trust me, I've lost two great GYN docs because of this.

I totally get why he uses OLD, he can't exactly meet someone at work