Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: jdubb80 (44703)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: His latest gem - wants new mother in law to pick up my son
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swear sometimes I think I'm the crazy one. On alternate weekends, my father takes J to the train station to meet XWH, who then takes him home to NJ. Today, it's my job to do the drop-off because my father has somewhere to be and can't do the drive. So I told XWH last night that it was going to be me at drop-off, and that I'd do my best to get there so that they can make the 5:40 train, but I don't get out of work until 5 and I had to go home, get J, and then get to the train station.

This morning he suggested that his new MIL come to my parent's house to pick up our son. That would be OW's mother. Um... am I the only one that sees something wrong with this picture?? I texted my dad this morning and posed the question to him, told him I was inclined to say no, and he agreed with my decision.

I told XWH that I appreciated the offer but that wasn't a viable option and I'd be at the train station as soon as I could so they could make that train. He wants to know why it's not a viable option. Do I really need to explain myself??? Is it just me???


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you don't NEED to explain yourself. But you could tell him your parents and you are uncomfortable with that situation.

Truth is you don't know this woman from any crazy child kidnapper. No reason to hand your child off to someone you do not know. That's the explanation... you - nor your parents know this person and don't feel comfortable handing J off to them.

I would expect him to feel the same way about anyone HE doesn't know wanting to come and get J from him.

Good luck.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5014 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd be inclined to say, that my parents have no inclination to meet or trust their grandson's safety with the mother of the woman who wrecked their family. That being said, it's not the "nicest" thing to say and really unless her mother is a whore too, then there's little connection with mother and daughter in terms of the daughter's decisions...


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 865 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, NO! And no, you don't have to explain yourself. As

Kajem said, you don't know anything about this woman. She could be a bad driver, an alcoholic, on medication - you name it and you should not have to explain why you don't want your child to be transported by a complete stranger.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty sure she's crazy/has issues as the OW/new wife doesn't even have a good relationship with her. Why the thought even occurred to him is beyond me.

[This message edited by lostmommy at 3:41 PM, June 27th (Thursday)]


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well the drop-off happened so quickly because there was an impatient person behind me, so there were no further questions about his MIL. I wouldn't be surprised if he brings it up on Sunday when I pick-up.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
welcome14
♀ Member
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with not wanting a stranger to pick up my child, but maybe the ow doesn't have a good relationship with her because ow is a slut and crazy and her mom doesn't approve? Cause you know the NPDs always make it the normal one's fault. Is there anyone that knows her that could answer that? And maybe you could stipulate that you have to meet and approve of anyone that will be doing drop-offs? Maybe a letter from your attorney stating that? Good luck, hopefully your dad will be able to do the drop off in the future and this will be a non-issue.


Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.


Posts: 1171 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If OW doesn't have a good relationship with her mother, why is it a viable solution to your EX?


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have friends in the firehouse that they all used to belong to and those friends tell me the whole family is nutso [with examples]. XH is in good company, because he's completely off his rocker as well. I wish I could keep my son from all of them, but I can't unless or until they do something to him.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It doesn't matter whose mom she is, he should NOT be asking you to hand off your precious child to some stranger you do not know or trust. Period.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49468 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not a blood relative. Period. End of discussion.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Luckily it didn't come up in conversation at pick-up today either.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also,if you start now with all this changing of things, it gets more difficult later on. Stick with the set up you have now, and that's true that this woman isn't a blood relative.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2058 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 13

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.