Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Charliefox (44896)

Off Topic Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How to Dress Feminine After Sexual Harassment
anonymous823
♀ Member
Member # 39433
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All,

I've always loved to wear heels and dress in nice blouses and such but growing up I faced a lot of sexual harassment because of my breast and butt size so I started covering up. I'm pretty petite and have a small waist but my breasts are rather large for my frame and I have a noticeable bottom too. I hate that my body draws so much unwanted attention from men and have been considering a breast reduction but my doc says since I'm in my twenties and childless I need to wait until after I have kids.

In the meantime I would like to wear my nice blouses and jeans with heels but dread the cat calls from men. So wise ladies of SI, can you tell me how you deal with dressing feminine and ignorant men cat calling?

As of late I've been wearing t-shirts and flats with blazers so as not to attract attention.


Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2013
jennie160
♀ Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a pretty big bust for my frame. The key is to draw the eye away from your chest. I wear a lot of shirts that aren't super low cut with detail around the neckline. Big chunky necklace's do this as well.

http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1409443/elle-rosette-flutter-top.jsp

http://www.loft.com/smocked-neck-tank/307762?colorExplode=false&skuId=14037566&catid=catl000011&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=1142

I wish I was one of those girls that could wear the tank tops with the shelf bra built in. Unfortunately, my girls need extra support.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I was one of those girls that could wear the tank tops with the shelf bra built in. Unfortunately, my girls need extra support.

Small chested girl here - those things don't work for anyone unless you don't need a bra at all - in which case they're useless.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13733 | Registered: Jul 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well-fitting, surplice neckline blouses (the fabric criss-crosses in the front) in busy prints also help camouflage a large bust.

A-line or gored,flared skirt at or just above your knee are feminine but not overtly sexy like pencil skirts can be.

I would suggest, though, that you should develop a thick skin and 'f-you' attitude for those rude enough to harass you like this. A withering stare and moving on is your best bet. Don't let the cretins intimidate you. I have a good friend who is very busty and suffered because of it for years. She's almost my age and now has a stooped posture from trying to minimize the appearance of her figure. It's very sad.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20142 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
jennie160
♀ Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would suggest, though, that you should develop a thick skin and 'f-you' attitude for those rude enough to harass you like this.

I wanted to add that this is important as well. You need to learn to love your body and walk around with confidence.

When I was married, XH use to tell me to stop dressing like a slut (he considered anything that wasn't baggy and showed the slightest hint of figure slutty) so I started wearing baggy tee-shirts and ill-fitting clothes.

I had horrible self-esteem but after I left and I started to work on myself I started to gain confidence and was more comfortable in clothes that flattered my figure.

I think your first step is to work on building your confidence in your body. Go shopping find a piece or two that fit well that you feel you look good in and strut your stuff.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
anonymous823
♀ Member
Member # 39433
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Jennie- I'll definitely be looking into those sites that you shared. I think it'll be fun to try the necklace idea too. @sadinAZ- thank you for your detailed comment! I'm working in the attitude. I feel like I'm a force attitude wise except when it comes to my body. My IC says I those men win by shrinking like your friend did. @Jennie - I've been trying to love my body and you're right, I'll need to build confidence. It's odd to my FWF that I have this issue because he's always loved my body and encouraged me to feel confidential about it but I fought him on it for years for fear that I would be harassed again. I was harassed while wearing jeans and a nice blouse and have at times been inappropriately touched and I just freeze up with fear. I found a nice blouse that I look great in and plan to wear it for my upcoming birthday! Gonna take take your advice and practice my strut!

Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2013
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This post makes me sad. How shitty and sad that you have to deal with those jerks.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
anonymous823
♀ Member
Member # 39433
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@janagreen- yeah, I honestly thought it was my fault for a long time but after speaking with many women in NYC I learned that it is a major problem for many women. They've developed an app that allows women to let other women know when they're a victim of street harassment and get help. My male friends have told me to develop a mean mug.

[This message edited by anonymous823 at 1:13 PM, June 28th (Friday)]


Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2013
anonymous823
♀ Member
Member # 39433
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@janagreen- yeah, I honestly thought it was my fault for a long time but after speaking with many women in NYC I learned that it is a major problem for many women. They've developed an app that allows women to let other women know when they're a victim of street harassment and get help.

Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 9

Return to Forum: Off Topic Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.