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Newest Member: Makeitstop85 (44953)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: rugsweeping?
circleoflife
♀ New Member
Member # 39702
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do you consider rug sweeping?
I don't know if what is going on with me right now is being considered rug sweeping? My brain is fried, my heart aches, my stomach is turning, and not much sleep. I am in a daze, sometimes.
What are your experiences/thoughts on what would be rug sweeping?
Thanks


Me BW (36)
WH (39)
together 16 years
2 kids: 6 DD & 10 month DS
Dday:4/18/13
TT: 4/26/13
TT: 5/6/13
more TT: 6/13/13
more TT: 7/9/13

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jun 2013
doesitgetbetter
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rug sweeping is a general letting go. You don't talk about the details, you don't talk about your feelings, you don't talk about anything but the kids and weather basically. Sort of the "our life is fine as long as I don't bring up finances, infidelity, or how little I trust him". THAT is totally rug sweeping.

Taking a break for a short period of time because you need a breather, totally fine. The problem comes when the "break" becomes the "norm".


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me rug sweeping is when you are continually being asked to stuff down all of your bad feelings if/when you are in the same room as your WH, put a mask on, and treat him like nothing happened to you or the M...

A case of denial at its worst....

It is rug sweeping when you have to worry about what to bring up and what not to bring up when the two of you talk..

I don't bring up any more A related questions because I have no interest in fixing the marriage..

As a result of WH's lack of remorse and lack of desire to work on himself to figure out why he lies and cheats ( a form of rug sweeping ), WH doesn't get to enjoy the benefits of being married to me..

I am doing a 180 in the sense that I don't do anything for WH...No sex, no physical affection... I don't do his laundry or give him gifts..

I don't make new purchases for the house (furniture, art, etc), because I have no plan for staying...

I carry on with my own schedule separate from WH's and I avoid WH if at all possible..

All of the above is the result of WH's lack of respect for me and my pain/devastation in the aftermath of his A..


[This message edited by doggiediva at 9:30 AM, June 29th (Saturday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1179 | Registered: Nov 2011
Pippy
♀ Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

rug sweeping - when the WS doesn't want to discuss what they did, saying it doesn't do any good to discuss it.


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
Topic Posts: 4

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