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Newest Member: saltairnc (45082)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Crazy ass tantrums
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This has been going on all week since he got home from the Disney vacation. It was getting better...only one little one yesterday...but right now we are going on 30 minutes of screaming and kicking.
The kid has some endurance...his mom must run marathons or something.
It's just exhausting.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4658 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang tight tesla!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2234 | Registered: Oct 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you strength, tesla. And wine.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25532 | Registered: Aug 2011
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy...I think the end might be in sight...here he comes...let's see if he's settled.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4658 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Poor teslet. You're such a great Mom. It must be hard for him to handle it all sometimes.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1796 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tesla)))

((((Teslet))))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13756 | Registered: Jul 2011
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It just seems like he gets over stimulated so quickly. And the first couple of days back anytime he heard the word 'no,' all hell broke loose.

I suppose I'll just add this week to my list: "joys of parenting with a lower muppet."


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4658 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The kid has some endurance...his mom must run marathons or something.

You may be onto something - I found this on Wikipedia: "the force of the tantrum is a kind of measure of the strength of character the child can possess eventually, if [s]he's helped to harness that energy"

Don't know if that's scientifically proven or what, but something to hold onto when the screaming's at its worst...


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1796 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm...that's food for thought, lyonesse.

The talk after the tantrum:
Me: so did you get what you wanted by throwing that tantrum?

Teslet: no

Me: do you ever think throwing a tantrum will get you what you want with mom?

Teslet: *emphatically shakes head no*

Me: good, young grasshopper. Now you need a snack and I need a beer.

Teslet: mom, I'm not a grasshopper, I'm a boy!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4658 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For a minute I thought you were referring to the lower muppet...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17413 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are tantrums when kids are trying to manipulate a situation (not judging, that is what most kids do at some point) and there are tantrums when they are just out of control. My ds was like that, very sensitive and when he was off/over stimulated/tired watch out. He just couldn't control himself. It was sooo sad to watch. I wish I had more patience back then.

My dd's tantrums were rarely out of control. Much easier to take.

Hugs to you both!


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"the force of the tantrum is a kind of measure of the strength of character the child can possess eventually, if [s]he's helped to harness that energy"

Wow this explains my middle D to a tee. Very driven personality.

Her temper tantrums were legendary in our neighborhood Yeah.. that's right ... the neighbors heard her... even a couple of houses away. Today she is in college, working 2 jobs, and on the dean's list. I think she learned to harness that energy.

It wasn't easy going thru it then.

Hugs Tesla, I feel for you.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5162 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad it's over. You certainly earned that beer!

One of my new favorite children's books is Coraline by Neil Gaiman. I don't know if you've read it, but if you haven't, I think that it teaches great lessons about not taking what we have for granted and about how life isn't always about getting what we think we want. Here's one of my favorite quotes:

"'You really don't understand, do you?' she said. 'I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted? Just like that, and it didn't mean anything. What then?'"

Teslet will figure this out in time. He's lucky to have you so that you can guide him to that realization since your ex-shat is incapable of doing so.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3607 | Registered: Oct 2011
PricklePatch
♀ Member
Member # 34041
Default  Posted: 12:51 AM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Children have purer emotions then we do. I am sure some of it is just coming back to earth after a week of disney, with a less stable enviroment. I think honestly, he may be letting the parent he trusts most deal with his emotional confusion.

My dd is now 14. She is very much more comfortable with me. I am her rock and her stability. Her father is her cartoon buddy, and lets her get away with everything. When push comes to shove, she turns to me every single time. She already told him, that if we do divicorce she will be with me period. He says he knows if we, D he will lose her.

We are separated, so he is afraid.


BS
Fwh
sorry post on my tablet

Posts: 297 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: pricklepatch
Topic Posts: 14

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