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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A hard week ahead
guiltfilled11
♂ New Member
Member # 35713
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 years ago this week I made, by far, the biggest mistake of my life. 2 years ago I was the biggest jerk to all of the people that mean the most to me. 2 years ago I was the most self absorbed person on the planet. All I cared about was me and my A.

I have changed a lot in the last 2 years. I'm not perfect by any means but every mistake I make I learn from it and this one is no exception. I will never put anyone above my family, myself included, ever again.

I watch my wife struggle every day with me. She struggles with triggers, trust, and being able to open up to me and I have no one to blame but myself. I hate that I have caused her so much pain that continues to torture her on a daily basis.

The week ahead is what we call hell week. It's the hardest time of the year for her. I took the week off from work to help her, to distract her, and to show her that she is the only one that matters.

I will continue to say my I'm sorry's and I will support her through everything that lies ahead...

Hurtbuthoping12,

You are the one who loves and supports me through everything. I know you struggle every single day, I'm sorry I've made it that way for you. I promise to forever be here for you and never put you through any pain like that again. I love you.

[This message edited by guiltfilled11 at 10:07 AM, July 1st (Monday)]


Me - WH - 30 (Stupid selfish husband)
BS - 27
3 Amazing Children
D-day - 7/6/11
R begins - 8/29/11

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2012 | From: guiltfilled11
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((guiltfilled & Hurtbuthoping)))

It sounds like you have come far in this journey and are really working on R. I think your idea to take time off of work to focus on helping your BS through this antiversary was a great idea. Sending you both strength to get through the coming week.


Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
Pudding
♀ Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you both. You are doing the right thing and hopefully she will appreciate the strength of your commitment to help her heal.

Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish you well and I wish you peace.

Even though you did something very wrong, your family is lucky and I envy them the change to try to be a family again. We don't have that and we lost to another family who took STBX away from us (yes, he went).

I hope it will work out the way you want and you sound very kind about your wife's suffering.

STBX made fun of mine and mocked me when I spoke of triggers.

I wish the best for you.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2302 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to add that your proactiveness in anticipating her needs, speaks volumes.

Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
guiltfilled11
♂ New Member
Member # 35713
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today's the day.

It has been a daily "good week" all things considering. Ups and downs for her I know but we've stayed busy and had a lot of family time which I've thoroughly enjoyed. Today we plan on staying home for another family day by the pool.

I hope I can provide the much needed love and support for her that I know she needs today. I hate to see her in pain, especially knowing that its pain that I've caused.


Me - WH - 30 (Stupid selfish husband)
BS - 27
3 Amazing Children
D-day - 7/6/11
R begins - 8/29/11

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2012 | From: guiltfilled11
Knowing
♀ Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you've had a good week! Have you been able to get away alone together? Today might be a good day for that.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 698 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 7

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