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User Topic: Forever skeptical?
Jennifer99
♀ Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since I have decided to give up on my M I have spent a lot more time reconnecting with old friends.

One of my old bf's was a guy in H.S. I haven't heard from him in 20+ years. Last year right after I found out about WH's EA this friend found me on fb.

He was engaged, excited, happy. I was blah miserable. I wished him well and returned focus to my M.

He contacted me yesterday very sad about "another failed relationship". It was nice to fall right back into our old being there for each other with our love troubles.

Later when we were done talking I poked around his page and "hers" and she still has her status as engaged, they are still fb friends, and now I am kind of uncomfortable with our conversation knowing more from being on SI. If he wants to chat again I want to be able to chat-smack him and say wtf if you are still engaged and messing around I'll be down in about 8 hours to smack you.

During a different part of my weekend I was out with another family for one of my son's activities. I was totally judging the husband the entire night based on the things I have learned here on SI.

I feel like I have been schooled so thoroughly I will never not be a cynical grump and now I have to mourn my innocence or something.

Do people go on to trust and make good decisions again?

I think maybe I need to ask at IC but sometimes you all have better answers!


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be honest, yah I am jaded, and I do not look at people with the open, positive attitude I did before. I don't trust nearly as easily, and feel like I will watch peoples actions and words before I decide if I would want to be friends with them or not.

Some would probably say this isn't very healthy, but I say hey I'm not opening myself up to be hurt in anyway again if I can help it. That's not to say I don't have fun, I do, but I am guarded. It's not a bad thing either, because the friends I have now, are true true friends.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8687 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
ShockedErica11
♀ Member
Member # 37550
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some would probably say this isn't very healthy, but I say hey I'm not opening myself up to be hurt in anyway again if I can help it. That's not to say I don't have fun, I do, but I am guarded. It's not a bad thing either, because the friends I have now, are true true friends.

The bad part for me is, I've always been guarded and a touch cynical around other people. I don't form friendships easily and the ones I do form, last for years. This situation with my spouse has severely handicapped my ability to break out of my shell (something I was working hard at before I found out about the LTA). It's not like I didn't automatically think the best of people, believing that there were people in world that would give unto themselves and be kind to one another. Now? Everyone is a rat bastard, and I was a fool to think that people would ever doing anything that wouldn't suit their own ends. Thanks, WH, for proving my Dad right.


Him (31): Taurus517 (17 mon EA/PA); others
Me (27): 3mo EA/PA (kissed once)
One too many D-days
(Full story: see profile)

Posts: 230 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Atlanta, GA
Topic Posts: 3

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