Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: confusedwife32 (44902)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Follow or Forget
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Back in the day, I would have paid for Premium Membership just for the privilege of "forgetting" DixieDevestated, wincings-sparkle, UO, TG, MJ, and SLHer.

I am honored to have made the list Aubrie

It has always been the things that bothered me that I needed to hear.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4850 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I don't think I am overthinking this, sorry AN.

No need to apologize. We're all entitled to our opinions.

And just so you know, the staff doesn't get this option .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37561 | Registered: Sep 2007
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It has always been the things that bothered me that I needed to hear.
Ditto.


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I would like to forget myself....


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really is the things said that make us feel uncomfortable that are probably what we need to hear.

AMEN


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes we're not ready to hear things. Then when we go back to re-read those threads,we may be a little further out and ready for that stuff

How will this be any different? When people are ready, they will listen. They can go back and read it again, or choose to take someone off of their forget list. Same thing IMO.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44665 | Registered: Sep 2006
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How will this be any different? When people are ready, they will listen. They can go back and read it again, or choose to take someone off of their forget list. Same thing IMO.

Not sure how they will progress to that point without the initial exposure.

As always, I am fighting this kind of thinking.

[This message edited by aesir at 3:36 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not a premium member so I don't have this option but I do have a question.

Maybe this has already been answered. I'm sorry if I missed it.

Will the people who are followed or forgotten know they are being followed or forgotten? So if someone followed or forgot me will I be notified some how?


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If Facebook has survived giving me the ability to hide people when I was tired of listening to them, I'm sure SI will, too.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
uncertainone
♀ Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If Facebook has survived giving me the ability to hide people when I was tired of listening to them, I'm sure SI will, too.

No doubt. A difference, though. Facebook is "all about you". Of course "you" can determine who reaches out and touches "you". "You" don't have the ability to determine that for "your" friends, though.

With this feature if one posts a thread and has "forgotten" a member then that member can't post on it.

As I had stated, it's the responses that have helped me sometimes more than the OP.

So, it's not just power of how "you" use the site but how others are able to as well.

I thought power was the ability to control one's self.

Good news, though. Makes "if something makes you angry maybe you should take a good look at it" irrelevant. That's a long little sucker. New translation is "click"


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nobody here has pissed me off more than the members who were right about things I was not ready to hear.

Aesir. ^^^^^^^^^
Ditto


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5023 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would I post if I have to wonder whether or not anyone is even reading it?

I feel like I just fell out of a safe place into meanie-mommy land.

So, you know, not a huge deal for me, because after 3 1/2 years y'all have taught me to think: "Well, forget you guys! I care about me enough not to care if you don't care about me."

I think it strips the site of a valuable dynamic.

You may all forget my snarky bitter self now and concentrate on messages that affirm whatever it is you want to believe and/or that promote unicorns and rainbows, etc.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why am I a little hurt that I'm not on Aubrie's list?

Anyway, I know there are people who would definitely forget me, but actually, most of them have been banned from SI already.

Nobody here has pissed me off more than the members who were right about things I was not ready to hear.
He speaks the truth!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9639 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good news, though. Makes "if something makes you angry maybe you should take a good look at it" irrelevant. That's a long little sucker. New translation is "click"

Yeah, I thought about this drawback, but at the end of the day, I have enough faith in the crowdsourcing potential of SI wisdom that I tend to believe that once blocked voice isn't going to silence the message.

I mean, it's not like we as users are breaking new therapeutic ground in the infidelity game. We're just iterating and personalizing a message that been around (and around and around), often taught to us by vets who are no longer with us and passed on to the next "generation" of new users.

I think it's those message that have power -- those narratives of recovery -- rather than the individuals who are the latest proponents. Somebody always picks up the banner, even after Denzel goes face down in the sand.

Then again, SI is the only forum I've ever been on that didn't have a block-user capability, and I've never used it on any of those. Don't expect I'll use it here, either, so I'm probably not the ideal audience of the power of silencing messages one doesn't want to confront.

Much more entertaining to just conclude your antagonist is an idiot and set the popcorn maker on stun, you know?

ETA: It's also important to remember that this is a service open to premium members. I suspect that new folks who most need to hear uncomfortable messages are less likely to throw up the rupees to get premium access just to block someone -- if they even grok to the fact that the service exists.

[This message edited by wincing_at_light at 5:20 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nobody here has pissed me off more than the members who were right about things I was not ready to hear.

Double ditto.

I posted such asinine shit at first (perhaps still do) I wouldn't blame anyone for "forgetting" me. But I am grateful to everyone who held their nose and commented anyway.

Ultimately, if users choose to "forget" others...their loss IMO.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1165 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why am I a little hurt that I'm not on Aubrie's list?
And so it begins.

How long will it take before someone posts in General, "Why are there gray boxes in some posts? Am I doing something wrong?" Then everyone is gonna do what they do when they see a "Mod Call" and see who blocked who. If someone mentions a "gray box", it'll be obvious who isn't a fan of someone else. That's sad.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6221 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's already a Who Doesn't Like Who list in the 5000 post forum.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTW, aesir is the only member ever to be banned from that forum, because he included a 20k word rant because he mis-read the topic as "Who Doesn't like the Who".

It was brutal, and we're all still a bit embarrassed by it.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just riffed on my own post.

See, even SI is all about me. Y'all are just props for my intra-conversational genius.

Feel free to add your applause below.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is soooo cool. Thank you. You work far to hard for so little in return. I really appreciate all you do.


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18768 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
Topic Posts: 93
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.