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Newest Member: BetterMindset (45337)

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User Topic: Follow or Forget
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^^^^^^^^ *applause*^^^^^^^^^^^^ ( don't know how to post clappy hands )
Who Doesn't Like Who list in the 5000 post forum.

What??? Wait!!!???!!! Who!!!!????!!!! Where!!!???!!! I didn't get the map or the manual when I joined. Where does one find this thread? Oh, sheesh, I must be forgotten by everyone on it.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9798 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Who are you again?


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6750 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9798 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why am I a little hurt that I'm not on Aubrie's list?

Really SMS, really?

I'm not just on her (s)hit list, I'm the first one listed -- like King of the (S)hit List.

Aubrie, I've mellowed since then and handed my ass-kicking boots over to you a long time ago Grasshopper. How I didn't get kicked out of WS is beyond me.

I've seen this sort of thing on other types of forums and it can be useful. I do want to thank everyone who helped me on this site and SI's 'staff'.

[This message edited by DixieDevastated at 7:32 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
PanicAttack53
♂ Member
Member # 34195
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Much more entertaining to just conclude your antagonist is an idiot and set the popcorn maker on stun, you know?


As always WAL... you crack me up dude!!!

MH, Met may have answered this already but is this feature fluid... i.e., changeable "on Follow" "off Follow" etc...?


Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Posts: 900 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Midwest
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to agree with Aubrie, TG and the others here, I see problems arising. OTOH if you want to dismiss someone's opinion your loss. In the beginning omg my list would have been filled so fast. UO, MJ, Aubrie, TG, HL, WalkinOnEggShellz (hope I spelled that right) and many more. The ones who's words felt like a sucker punch to the gut that I felt like running and sticking my head in the sand to ignore are the ones who gave me the greatest advice.

Either way I know I'm not going to be blocking anyone and thanks to MH and DS for keeping this site as user friendly and growing as possible.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."


Posts: 2760 | Registered: Oct 2012
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know y'all I'm going to speak as a member here. Not a mod. Not admin. Just a member. So please keep that in mind. There's no hidden meaning. I'll just be blunt.
The healing exchange here requires two things. A member dispensing wisdom of some sort, and the person reading it being willing to listen and looking to heal. A forget or follow button isn't going to change that dynamic. If someone isn't willing to listen or glean important information from your post, they weren't going to anyway.
And when they are ready, they'll take you off the forget list the same way they'd go back and take a second look at your posts after they had sworn off ever reading what you had to say again.
This feature isn't going to make a difference in that regard.

I do find it pointless to be making lists of who was pivotal and life changing for you when you got here. The most important element in all that is that at some point you were willing to listen and then their posts spoke to you.
YOU made the choice to heal, change and grow. Until that point it wouldn't matter if someone handed you the definitive 100% foolproof laminated list of the right way to heal from this mess. You would have rested your coffee cup on it. You have to be looking to get it.
And no one poster here is so together, healed and wise that a newbie won't heal if they put them on ignore. There's plenty of good stuff and helpful posters here.
We have about a million different personality types in our midst. One is not always going to gel with another. That's ok. It sure makes it easier if you are offended to put them on a forget list than feel intimidated and like you can't post.
Or what about the new and extremely foggy WS's? Our goal is not to 2x4 the crap out of them and run them off. Sure we can all sit around and high five afterwards but what was really accomplished with that? Some people need to ease into this and not be scared away. They don't have to heal on our timeline, or at all for that matter. But if they stick around through the profound time of upheaval they may want to heal and slowly but surely they'll find what they are looking for.
There's nobody here that is required reading. It's a long journey.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44957 | Registered: Sep 2006
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to agree with Aubrie, TG and the others here, I see problems arising.

Do none of you think that MH and I didn't talk about this feature every which way from Sunday for 2 solid months?

Well...we did

Have a little faith


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198275 | Registered: May 2002
wincings_sparkle
♀ Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally would have blocked me as a newby. I'm blunt, often to the point of rude.

I happened to have a blunt to the point of painful truth headshrinker. It worked for me then because I couldn't run out of his office screaming. So, I'll throw out what would have woken me up, that is really not everyone's cup of tea.

If a safety button keeps newbies here, more power to the safety button!


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
dameia
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do none of you think that MH and I didn't talk about this feature every which way from Sunday for 2 solid months?

t/j

I don't want this to come across as me kissing butt, because that's not how its intended, but HOLY CRAP, it honestly never occurred to me how much time it takes to run this site. So, thanks for all the time and effort.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.


Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2012
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're most welcome Dameia


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198275 | Registered: May 2002
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh no DS I am sure you guys did. I don't think decisions are made here without a lot of discussion and pros and cons being thrown out there to be examined.

Making a list was just an example that there were many who made me want to run away scared, I named names because these people are solid contributors and yet I would have been willing to block their voices to not own my shit. Like I said though if someone chooses to block others it is their choice to take their advice or ignore it. Everyone will make the decision they feel is best for them. Meta I do agree with a lot of what you said.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."


Posts: 2760 | Registered: Oct 2012
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I foresee myself having lots of trouble posting in the near future...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20284 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WWS.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4003 | Registered: Dec 2011
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unagie...

I understand...no worries


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198275 | Registered: May 2002
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a little faith

DS that faith can be in short supply sometimes.
There have been a few changes I thought were in the wrong direction, others not made I thought that should. I don't think any have turned out to be a real issue. With this change I tend to think there are some people who will not hear what they need to hear. Most of them would have probably miss it or dismiss it anyway. At least they will now need to contribute for that right.

I don’t really don't know if this is a good decision or a bad one. I do have faith that if it turns out to be a problem the admin and mods will deal with it handily.

Thanks for all you do for SI MH and DS.

[This message edited by foundoutlater at 8:04 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1131 | Registered: Jul 2011
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure this is such a crisis...at most I can block 10 people. Total. If I follow no one. Out of a community of close to 40k. And it is my decision to forget someone, if I payed for a platinum membership. To be honest, most platinum members aren't going to block people on a whim...and I give them credit that they won't forget people who disagree with them "just because". I think it's much ado about nothing. If it proves to be an issue, I'm sure the mods (and DS and MH) will re-evaluate. Just my opinion.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4003 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTS.
My popcorn maker is stunning.

Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But nobody has addressed the issues in the graphic I posted.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, July 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see it as re-arranging furniture in MH & DS's living room.
I'm just worried Mh will have to put a lot of effort into the
'Wait, I forget why I'm following you' feature next.

Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Topic Posts: 93
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