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User Topic: Actions didn't come back to haunt you
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I sit here completely humiliated and disgusted with myself for how I reacted and wait for any backlash from sending a letter to the yoga studio she is taking teaching classes from, is there anyone who did some things they regret and didn't get any backlash from it.
I am waiting on pins and needles for either the police to pull up or get a summons to appear in court for libel.
I am truly going insane with worry. I am sorry, sorry, sorrry for my actions.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sent a pm to you


Me (BS)-45, WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1380 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SVW - you exposed the truth and there is NOTHING WRONG with that. I do not regret anything I did back then except not throw him out.
She chose her actions. She doesnt' get to choose the consequences.
Your consequence might be a visit or phone call from a lawyer or the cops. So what.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4906 | Registered: Dec 2010
stratus722
♀ Member
Member # 35907
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did what many of us have dreamed about doing. Hopefully nothing will come out of this for you. Hopefully she is ashamed and has consequences for her actions.

Posts: 102 | Registered: Jun 2012
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd give my right arm to take everything back. Revenge is not the answer. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself. I can't even look in the mirror. So I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. I hope anyone reading this will realize taking the high road is the way to go. I just hope I can recover from ths.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd give my right arm to take everything back. Revenge is not the answer. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself. I can't even look in the mirror. So I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. I hope anyone reading this will realize taking the high road is the way to go. I just hope I can recover from this nightmare, it's about as bad as the betrayal by him.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im not sure why you feel you have done something so terrible. You informed the place she works at what kind of person they have employed. If they have a problem with her lack of morality,then they will do what they see fit. If they don't care,they won't say anything to her...Im guessing they will disregard your email and it will be business as usual.

This is the OW that has continued to carry on an affair with your WH..after dday..they went underground..am I correct?

Yeah..sorry...I don't understand your guilt. And,Im one of the very few BS's on SI who have no issue with the AP's of my WH. I harbor no hatred for them at all. But I can certainly understand why you did what you did. This woman has waged war on your marriage and your family.

The high road is popular around here,I know,and revenge isn't a good thing according to most people..but Im in the minority...sometimes turning the other cheek only gets the other cheek slapped.

[This message edited by confused615 at 2:19 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7399 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sure you will be ok. IF all you said is the truth well then nothing to worry about. You are way to nice doll..


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3187 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..agreeing with confused.. quit beating yourself up here..

..there is much support hear for exposure of the A, to out the participants and shine a light on the destructive actions.

..actions i contemplate would come back to haunt me for sure, especially the 20 years to life!

..i'm willing to bet the house on no backlash from this OW. do yourself a favour and quit worrying over nothing, she can't do diddly squat for reporting her, and they probably could care less about the woman's background. With cheating so rampant, i'll bet half the employees of this studio are cheaters! ..

..please don't lose another moment's sleep over this.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4123 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
1devastedmom
♀ Member
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out the real name etc. for one of my husbands prostitutes and sent letters to every single apartment# in her complex. I wanted to let her neighbors know what kind of woman lived there. It felt good. I didn't put my name on the letters and no return address so there's no way for her to know who it came from. I also wrote her a note telling her exactly how I felt about her. I'm sure she doesn't care because she obviously has no morals or class so why would she care if someone thought she was a dirty whore.


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 138 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
dawnmarie
♀ Member
Member # 32964
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sent a detailed note to many of whooers friends and family on FB. Some were quite surprised, only one called to scorn me for whooer and I told him if they needed proof, I could forward that to everyone as well; I never heard another word. I didn't lie, I didn't slander, and I didn't threaten. It was all truth and I had proof and my neighbor/Chief of Police said about all she could do was press charges for harassment, but then she wouldn't have a leg to stand on because again, there was no slander, threat or lies.

I would do it again in a heartbeat with absolutely NO REGRETS!!


"Always go with your gut...the mind will only tell you what you want to hear."
author......me!!
BS:41
WH: 44
DDay: 8/02/09 (just someone from work)
DDay: 10/27/09 Complete confession
WH has done everything right for R (that I know of).

Posts: 130 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: IA
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all dear, sweet, wonderful brothers/ sisters in this mess.
I'm trying to get it together.
Hugs to you all, you mean the world to me.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They chose to have an affair with a married person, they get the consequence.

Posts: 620 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 13

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