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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Should I respond?
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got a text from XWH, stating he approves of the security monitoring company I signed with for my home alarm. He knows this company through his work in the same field, so that's how he heard about it.

I have no clue why he is randomly texting me like this, but its the second time now he's tried to get some response from me. The first time I gave him nothing but crickets. Now here he is again.

My question is do I stay with crickets? Or send back something like "Please don't ever text me again." I would block his texts immediately but since we are both on iphones they come via imessage and that can't be blocked.

Its VERY tempting to send something like, "what makes you think I give a shit about your opinion? This doesn't concern you, so f*ck off and do not text me again, about this or anything else, EVER."

Which response is likely to:
a- make him leave me the fuck alone, AND b- upset him more. Because if I'm being honest, those are my two objectives. I want him miserable, and far away.

What are your thoughts??

[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 2:37 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 870 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets. But very creepy that he heard about your security monitoring company. How did he find out? Was he searching you?


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost,

He sells wire and other components to this security company and knows the owner. Something was probably mentioned to him in passing.

If I were to say "don't text me ever again" what do you think he would do? Go silent or try to engage further?


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 870 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know much about your situation, but the best thing to do is ignore. Engaging him in conversation will just make him think he can continue to converse with you, and possibly manipulate you further.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
thenon-goddess
♀ Member
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you want to give him this impression...

"what makes you think I give a shit about your opinion? This doesn't concern you, so f*ck off and do not text me again, about this or anything else, EVER."

Then the best thing you can do is give him *crickets*. Then he is not even worth the effort of the Keystrokes.


Status: divorcing
Typing on an iPhone - please excuse the typos!

Posts: 1244 | Registered: Feb 2011
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets it is.

Thanks, gals.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 870 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't respond to him at all in any way. HOWEVER, you can be damn sure I'd be paying a personal visit to that security monitoring business & letting them know how INSECURE they just made me feel by somehow allowing my ex-fucking-husband to know that I was using them for my personal safety. I'd want some kind of special assurance that they would safeguard my account and never ever again allow my ex-fucking-husband access to my private information again.

And maybe they'd throw in a free month or two of monitoring for the breech of safety they already caused me.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^ What she said!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what Nature Girl said -- make sure you talk to the owner or manager (district manager if it is a large company). OMG, that is scary! I would take my business elsewhere and you can bet I would not pay any sort of cancellation fee.


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 866 | Registered: Sep 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What NG said. WTF? How do they know you didn't get the security system BECAUSE of him.

What a fucking control freak - just dying for you to know he knows. Trying to interject himself into your life.

F.T.G.

Crickets to him - completely. He is baiting you, don't bite.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5579 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't stay with that security monitoring company. I'd cancel the account and find another more trustworthy company.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3106 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would not respond to him and I would be finding another company.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4782 | Registered: Feb 2008
Douchebagfree
♀ Member
Member # 39267
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto on the crickets. Strongbutbroken hit the nail on the head. He's letting you know that he knows.

Mine was doing the same thing, sending me random texts about things that don't concern me.
He told me how he had to get a new job because of policy changes at his current work. All bullshit since I know he didn't like his job and that's where he met the Twinkie so maybe management booted his ass out. He gave me all of the details about where he'd be working, when he was starting, bla bla bla. All I kept thinking was, WTF does this have to do with me? So I texted him and said" just make sure you have money to pay half the bills". No response.

Crickets are best.


Sometimes you have to stand alone, just to make sure you still can.

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely crickets.

My ex was always commenting on my flat when he dropped the children off saying this and that was nice and he liked how I had moved the furniture. As if I need his opinion. I've now asked that he drop our children off at the door and do not come in.

And definitely contact that company, they should not be discussing your business especially to you ex-husband. Creepy!


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Topic Posts: 14

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